SPEAKER_04 1:45

Good morning and welcome to another episode of the Hilltop Glove Podcast. Today we would like to welcome our amazing guest, Miss Nada Rutherford. Nada is an elected official, nurse practitioner, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and mother here in Columbia, South Carolina. Nada is also a graduate of Benedict College and her nonprofit organization, Style by NATO Foundation, provides apparel and toiletries to individuals in need, as well as financial literacy seminars and scholarship opportunities for single mothers. Finally, Nada is owns a clothing store now and then boutique that provides affordable, sustainable, modern-day fashion trends for men and women. How are you today, Miss Nada? I just want to say thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_05 2:26

I'm doing well. Had a health scare recently, but but the devil didn't win that round, so I'm still here.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

Amen. Amen. I definitely we will definitely dive into that later on in the episode about everything. But thank you so much for joining us today. We know you have a busy schedule and it is a Saturday, so thank you so much for waking up early. Absolutely. Well, I've been up since 3 30, so this is I did hear in the interview that you are an early bird. Um that's amazing. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself, about your story? It's very impactful, I have to say. I didn't even know this much about you. So I would love for our audience to hear exactly from your mouth, your journey, how everything got started, and how did you manage to overcome hardship and circumstances throughout your life?

SPEAKER_05 3:11

Well, my name is Nada Rutherford, as you guys have heard, and I am a servant. All of the titles that I have accumulated over my 40 years of living here on this earth, none is more important than that of servant. Um, I'm a servant in every single thing that I do, and I believe that I am walking the steps that God ordered for me. And I walk in that purpose and that passion every single day, even when it's difficult. From the time that I was a little kid, I have always known that I was meant to serve others, and you have to figure that out along the way, and you have to prevent people from using you. Um, you have to learn the spirit of discernment and listen to your intuition. But most importantly, I'm a servant. I grew up as a ward of the state in the foster care system in the state of Florida. I was left in a crackhouse at a very young age. My mother lost her parental rights. I have no idea who my father is, probably will never know, and that's fine with me. But I've endured a lot of hardships to get to where I am today. And I want to encourage our listeners today that you don't have to look like what you've been through, but you don't have to be strong all the time. I want people to understand that my strength comes from my ability to be soft with myself, to be kind to myself, and to be weak when I need to be weak. So that's that's in a nutshell who I am.

SPEAKER_04 4:37

That's amazing. Like you've overcome so much. As a black woman, I'm very proud of you. I have to say that. So you said you were born in Jacksonville, Florida. How did you actually get to Columbia, South Carolina?

SPEAKER_05 4:52

So I was born in Miami, Florida, and I came to South Carolina as a homeless student two days after I graduated from high school, I no longer had a place to live because I was 18. And I had graduated high school and in the state of Florida during that time. There were no resources for students like myself who maybe we had some potential, but there was no resources that I knew of that were available to me. So two days after graduating from high school, I was sleeping on friends' couches, and I had a friend of mine, her mom's name is Leslie Wright, and she took me in and brought me to South Carolina while her daughter, who was my friend, was auditioning for the track and the track teams here at the local colleges in Columbia, South Carolina. One of the coaches from Benedict College listened to her tell my story. I didn't even know she was telling my story. I was very embarrassed by my hardships. I thought people would judge me and assume that I was the problem. And so I was just very quiet about what I was going through. But she saw something in me. The coach saw something in me, and they gave me a chance at Benedict College. And that certainly catapulted me into a more successful trajectory, a faster success pattern because I took advantage of the opportunities given to me. So I was not going to college, I wasn't coming to South Carolina, had never been to South Carolina, had no idea even where it was. But I was able to come here, get a full scholarship to run cross-country and track, became, you know, award-winning athlete, graduated Magna Cum Laude with a biology degree, and just started my life. And it was difficult. It was very, very hard. But South Carolina has been home to me. It has given me a chance. It has loved on me and nurtured me. And so I, while I always say I'm from Florida, uh, South Carolina is definitely home.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Wow. It is, yeah. Wow. So I mean, you mentioned you mentioned a little bit about feeling embarrassed about uh the the situations that you came from and and kind of trying to to hide that. And that's kind of like classically what we think of as a as a trauma response that we we um see in ourselves as adults, particularly being in in kind of helping fields and things like that. Uh someone mentioned to me the other day that if you feel embarrassed about your own situations, like if you feel guilt about things that you need, then then you can't help somebody else without putting judgment on them. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_05 7:39

Oh, absolutely. And I'll I'll share this small little tidbit with you guys. There was a time where I was so embarrassed about the trauma that I experienced, sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, and I thought that it made me a bad person to have gone through those things. And and so when I started to share, I'll tell you there's a there's a fine line in this. So there's the shame and embarrassment, and then there's the oversharing of your story because you think that if you can lead with your pain, then maybe people will have more grace with you. So I went through a period in my especially during my college years, where I kind of led with that pain, like, hey, you don't have to dislike me because I was a foster kid. I don't have a family, I don't have parents, you know, I don't even have money, you know?

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_05 8:30

And it took me until I got into my 30s, honestly, to understand that I don't have to leave with pain, that sharing my story is my prerogative, and I can share it at my leisure, and that I don't have to share my story with everyone because sometimes listening ears become talking mouths, and people will share things about your life and things that you hold uh dear to you about your experiences and your trauma, and they will use that for gossip. So when I say I had to learn the spirit and the and the the feeling of just in my 30s, I grew up in my 30s, and I tell people that all the time. Like somewhere in my 30s, I just became grown, and I was no longer this little kid who was afraid to be vulnerable. I allowed the vulnerability, but I had to learn to tweak it and to work with it and to figure out how to share my story in a way that was beneficial to others, but not re-traumatizing myself.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Yes, that's that's very important. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:33

That's a great way to look at it and put it because a lot of people think vulnerability is they shy away from that. So the fact that you embraced it, did you have any influences that helped you or guided you throughout it this whole journey?

SPEAKER_05 9:44

I'm asked that question quite often when I do interviews like this, and and I don't mean this to sound like cocky or arrogant. I am my own muse. Like I am my own inspiration. And I know that may sound crazy. Like, yes, we read things that are inspirational, we meditate, we do different things, we meet people along the way, but the reality is that I inspire myself to be my best self. Like no one can encourage me the way that I encourage myself. And so, yes, I've had people in my life who have been certainly during some of the darker moments to say, hey, you know, you got this. But that that really lies within us. It's like addiction. People who have the disease of addiction, they could have the most, the best support system. But until they are ready to kick that addiction, no amount of support is going to help them. Now you can help them as they help themselves. So for me, I have I have helped myself. Like, yes, someone gave me the opportunity to go to college, but it was me that got up at 3:30 every morning to make sure that I made it to my 4 a.m. practice on time. It was me that borrowed my friends' school books to study because I couldn't afford my own. And that took discipline and it took sacrifice and it took, you know, not having fun sometimes and working six jobs to be able to buy myself simple things like toothpaste and deodorant and pads. Um it was in me. So, yes, I have the Spirit of God guiding me. I have inspirational things that I read, but truly, it's been me.

SPEAKER_04 11:28

That's amazing. You got that drive in you. I can see.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

One of the things, you know, that our generation kind of is very conscious of is that when we become parents, that we want to be very, very, very conscious, very selective about what we instill in our kids and and you know, try to correct some of the things that we view as mistakes from from past generations in our family, you know, but still trying to retain those things that we felt were were necessary. And you're coming from a foster situation. What are some of like, how do you, how do you manage that as a as a parent? What are some of the parenting techniques that you kind of like try to try to get to with your kids?

SPEAKER_05 12:07

I think that's such a great question. And I'll tell you this when you've experienced a type of trauma that I experience, you have to unlearn behaviors that seem normal to you growing up. And so I have I have this philosophy that if you want to be great at something, you have to study it like you would anything else. When we go to college or when we go to a trade school or when we're learning new things, we have to study, right? And so there's no manual on parenting. There are ideas, there's books of inspiration, there's things to help you along the way. But you have to figure out what worked for your children. So for me, I yes, I have spanked my children, but I also believe that spanking children stems from slavery and beating someone who is weaker into submission. And so when I when I thought about what spanking my children was doing, here's a a small child, you've got a belt or a switch or you know, your hand or a shoe, and you're spanking them into submission. You're saying to them, if you don't do what I say, I will beat you.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

And like teaching them that that's how the world works, too, is it like it is it is power and dominance over your your your willpower and your your body will be broken if you if you have that willpower within yourself.

SPEAKER_05 13:25

Yes. And so, like my youngest, my my oldest son, he was a terrible baby. I tell him this all the time. Like he cried all the time. I wanted to throw him and me out of the window. Like he just was a crying baby. Nothing was wrong with him, it seemed. He just could not be comforted. And I think I was nervous, I was anxious, I think I was, you know, displacing that onto him because of my lack of sleep and tiredness and all those things. And I was married at the time when I had children. So I had a great support system, but because of how I grew up, I thought that asking for help meant that I was weak. I thought asking for help meant that I wasn't a good mom. And remember, I don't have a mom or an aunt or a grandmother or a cousin who I could call and lean on. It was solely my ex-husband's family. And so that felt very isolating and odd, and they didn't agree with some of the things that I wanted to do, like simple things like breastfeeding. I wanted to breastfeed my children. And it it wasn't that it wasn't supported, it was just, gosh, you could just give them formula. Like I gave my kids formula and they're fine. But I really believe in the power of breast milk. And so it was, it felt very isolating at times. But I'll tell you this: I stuck to my guns, I studied anything that I could find, and then I thought about myself. What were the things that were traumatic and damaging to me as a child? And I literally made a list and I said, you know, whenever I was hit, it was usually something that I could have been talked to about. So let me try talking. And that approach with my children has been the best. Now, there are times where you need to pop your kids so that they understand that something is dangerous, but a beating, like you know, when my son went to school for a week and didn't do his work, I told him, I said, people without education have very little options and end up in trouble with the law. So put your fist up. If you, if this is if you want a fighting type of life, so I have my problem.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

A good smack to a teenager's mouth can't be uh uh underestimated. Like there's a little bit of a use for it.

SPEAKER_05 15:29

Yeah, I totally agree with that. Like sometimes, like I always tell my children, I have two things that I say all the time. There's never a reason to be rude or ungrateful. And there is, and then you should always practice words of kindness and acts of kindness. So you can't go wrong in life if you just operate on those two principles. And so the ungrateful part, like, yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I have popped my son in the mouth a couple of times with the, well, I've had better than this. Well, boy, until you get a call.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Right.

SPEAKER_05 15:59

So how was it raising two boys? Oh my gosh. They're they're 12 and 11. And it is, I feel like a referee most of the time, like, hey, get him, no, you can't jump on his back. So it's it's fun, it's exciting. I always thought I wanted to be a girl mom, but God knew exactly what he was doing by giving me boys because although I am extremely girly in the way that I dress, I'm not so girly and feminine in the way that I act. In real life. So I am I'm kind of I'm very much a tomboy in a lot of ways. And so my children are, I think, definitely seeing that these gender roles are really just what you make them. Because I will get out and run, although I'm not great at football, but I will run and play football and do nerf wars and all the things, and I don't try to force them to do girly things, but I do teach my boys that it's okay for men to get a manicure and pedicure, to get a massage, to do self-care, to need time alone, to to emote without feeling embar embarrassed by it. So I teach them it's okay to be soft in the places where it's safe and tough in the places where you need to be tough.

unknown 17:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

My son is uh about to turn three, and I do most of the cooking in our house. And so, like his little kitchen playset, his little pink and purple kitchen playset was one of his favorite toys.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

Um, until he decided to fix it with a hammer and broke it. Oh, that's okay. I think he saw I think he saw his grandpa pick fixing some some kitchen items and decided he was going to try that out. But it it it it is quite weird because I uh we've we've tried to be very conscious about like not putting any kind of you know ginger rolls or anything on him, but he loves balls and trucks and never been a sports person at all, but he is all about every kind of sport there is. It's kind of weird how those things happen.

SPEAKER_05 18:09

I think it's great to just foster what your kids are interested in versus trying to put on what we think they should be doing. And like my son was amazing at swimming, but he hated it. And I just said, We're I'm not gonna force him to do it. And he was great at it. Like without much training or practice, he was just an amazing swimmer, but he hated it. And I just said, Okay, no problem. I don't want to teach them to quit, but I do want to teach them to walk away from things that don't give them joy.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Right, right, right. And swimming is one of those things that I grew up doing a lot of swimming, but I, you know, like I don't want to compete in swimming. I just want to swim.

SPEAKER_05 18:45

That's what he said. I don't want to win awards, I just want to swim, Mom.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 18:53

So every successful business starts from the same place, which is a great business idea. And while fashion outlets and consumers are quick to pick up ideas from runway, selling retro items is a skill that most do not possess. And I know firsthand that you have this skill because I was on the news with you one day and you selected me to be your model, and I was just amazed by you know your presentation and everything. So, do you follow trends or do you start your own? And how did you find your style?

SPEAKER_05 19:21

Oh man, the style question. Yes. I'll tell you this. I have experimented with every type of fashion that you could probably think of. When you grow up in foster care and you don't grow up in a situation where people buy you nice things and you have to dig your clothes out of the trash bags that people donate to the group home, you learn, you either learn to just wear what you have or you learn creativity. And so for me, it was creativity. I was super thin as an adolescent and a teenager. I mean, and I'm talking like skinny, like olival skinny with big hair and glasses, okay? Like skin and bones, like the biggest thing on me was my hair, and I'm not joking. So none of the clothes fit me because just like, I mean, think this is the the late 80s, 90s, right? And so while just like you know, plus size women have found like this like amazing confidence in the fashion that is now available to them, if you go back to look at plus size clothing from that era, it was not fashionable. It was like granny, flower, print mess, right? And the same thing if you were extremely small. So I was a triple zero. Oh, wow. Yeah. Can you even imagine what that was? No, I cannot imagine that. I could literally wear like baby clothes, like toddler-sized clothing, but I was so tall. I'm I'm five seven, almost five eight. So I was tall, I was skinny, and nothing fit. Like my pants were always high-watered, the shorts were always too short, just because I have long legs. And so it was a struggle to find my style, but I was always willing to try. And I learned, I learned in college more than anything because I had a job and I could purchase things for myself, but I could only purchase things from thrift stores because I didn't have the money to go shopping. Like, I don't think I had new clothing until I was out of college. Like I remember buying myself a suit for an interview once, and I saved and saved and saved to go to the limited to buy myself this $149 suit. So um, I always wore thrift store clothing, and what I realized early was that vintage clothing fit me better because it was smaller. And so I just I found my vibe and found my style. I experimented. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. There were no products for people like me. Like I have this weird textured hair, which now is not weird, but growing up, when everyone was getting, you know, perms and their hair straightened, people didn't look like me. Like I grew up in a neighborhood that was completely African American, and I literally was like the only person with my hair texture that looked like me. It was really weird. So people are, girl, put grease in your hair. And I'm like, okay. But it didn't work. So it took me until my 20s to really find what worked for me, and then I've just tweaked it over the years, and now I can show other women, no matter what their body type is, how to dress for their body type without trying to conform to societal standards.

SPEAKER_04 22:29

And that's a big impact right there because growing up as a female, you get stigmatized by a lot. So you really don't know what they expect of you in the real world as far as dressing. But can you tell us how important your first impression is and what led you to assist college students with business attire?

SPEAKER_05 22:47

Absolutely. So I went to Benedict College, I was a student there, and I often did not have the things that I needed, including clothing. And so, other than borrowing from friends and safety pin and things and trying to make things work, I realized early on, like my freshman year, I would get invited to things because I was a good student, but I wouldn't go because I didn't have a business suit. I didn't have clothing that was business like. And I was embarrassed. You know, again, that shame that you feel for not having what everyone else has. So I wouldn't go. And it took me probably until the end of my sophomore year to understand that I was smart. I belonged there. I wasn't any different than the other students. I just had, you know, some resource issues. So I started asking for help. I would ask people for their old clothes, I would go thrifting because first impressions are really important. It's in like the way you dress and how you show up. Is more than your clothing. It's what you feel on the inside about who you are and what you want the world to think about you. So when I see girls and all they wear is like hoodies and sweatpants, they may be embarrassed by the fact that they're developing breasts or that their bodies look different than their friends, or they may not have found the confidence yet to wear things that make them feel good without feeling like someone is going to sexualize and objectify them. So for myself, when I get dressed, I get dressed every single day. It's not a vanity thing, it's a feeling thing. I dress the way I feel. And so for me, when I dress my best, I perform my best, I look my best, I'm I'm showing to the world how I want to be a dress. And so first impressions are real things. Like if you if you go out to a job interview and you have on a dress that you've had for 10 years and you kept it and you thought you could fit it, but you didn't allow enough time in that morning to try on something else, and now your dress feels tight and you're uncomfortable and you're pulling on it, man, you're not going to perform very well. You're not going to give a first impression that is reminiscent of what you present. You're also wearing other things like insecurities. I know as a black woman in a predominantly white space most of my career, I wore that. I can't be too, I can't be too aggressive today. I can't be too pissed. I have to laugh at this joke, even though it makes me uncomfortable. And we're wearing those things. We're uncomfortable in our working environments. So now I wear my whole authentic 100% self. And if that makes you uncomfortable, you might need to check the insecurities that you're wearing. So first impressions are huge. Love it. And I really try my best to make a great first impression.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

You make a good point, though, about you know that it's not just about other people's impression of you, it's about generating that that kind of uh exuberant energy within yourself. And I think that's something that that we kind of forget about is that it's it is it is you can be wearing a hoodie and and if it makes you feel that way, you can you can still have that that personality that overwhelms people and and kind of sweeps you along.

SPEAKER_04 26:10

But yeah, good works. So I have a question about your workplace environment. So with your your clothing style and you being a stylist, have you gotten any compliments coming to work? One just question where you got certain items from or something like that?

SPEAKER_05 26:26

I'll tell you, it's really interesting being in this space that is a predominantly male space.

SPEAKER_04 26:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 26:32

My appearance is often the topic of conversation. And it's weird to me because I'm like, I'm sure no one ever asked the previous, you know, administrative person, like, oh, like you look so cute today, or hey, where'd you find those pants? I'm sure that was never a question. But I choose, so I don't choose to wear a uniform every single day. I have my uniform in my car, like Batman. I'm ready to throw it on and I need to. Um, but I choose to wear business clothing when I go into work. And if I need to change, then I do because that makes me feel good. It does not make me feel good to walk around in khaki pants, khaki cargo pants and this uniform shirt every day. I'm proud to be able to put that uniform on and humbled by it as well. But that is not how I choose to walk around every single day. I show up as myself again, my 100% flamboyant, colorful self. And I yes, the way I look and how I dress is often the topic of conversation. But I I accept it because I understand that people are drawn to certain things. And if if them being inspired or you know, liking what I have on makes them come up and feel more comfortable talking to me, then I've done my I've done my due diligence and my job that day.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

Speaking of that uniform, this I'm assuming is at your job as Richland County coroner.

SPEAKER_03 28:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

And you are the uh the first black woman in history to be elected as Richland County coroner. So congratulations on that, and thank you for your public service. So I think you know, a lot of people only know about coroners from crime shows and uh NCSIs and such like that, and you've got purple spots on your tongue, so that means that he was poisoned in the in the dining room by Mr. Plum. But there's a lot more to it than that, and this, you know, this is an elected position because it is you are you are working in the public interest and and serving the the interests of the community. So I was wondering if you could just kind of like share with us a little bit about what the the real role of uh of a coroner in uh in a metropolitan area, Risling County is the county containing Columbia, the capital of uh South Carolina, for our listeners elsewhere.

SPEAKER_05 28:54

Thank you so much uh for asking about this this amazing role uh that I have. Mike, this first I just want to say thank you to the people who put me in office. I operate in gratitude every single day, and I often start things with with some sort of gratitude because I don't have to be here. The voters put me here, and I'm super grateful and humbled by that every single day to win against a 20-year incumbent who had been there, I mean, 20 years, and I won 60% of the vote. Like that's crazy. When I think about that, like I look at the numbers sometimes, like when the days are really hard. I'm like, over 30,000 people wanted you to be here. So you know, like keep going, girl. You got so the job is very different. People think that the hard part is looking at the deceased, looking at the heads blown off and the graphic images that you see, right? That's not the hard part of the job. The hard part of the job is telling a mother that her missing son is not coming home. The hard part of the job is trying to understand that this family does not believe that their son ever did cocaine, but he ha was an avid user. It's difficult when someone commits suicide and the family is in denial, and you meet with them no less than 27 times to show them why you came up with that decision. And I do it every time with grace and patience because I'm a mom and because I'm I'm a lover, I'm a I'm a I'm a human who feels and understands and has compassion and empathy. And it takes a long time for some people to accept that their loved one is is gone. So the hardest part of the job is not seeing the bodies or doing the death investigations or asking the hard questions because that's the less glamorous side that people don't see, right? Like they are like, oh man, it must be cool to see some of the stuff you see. Like, yeah, there's a cool factor, but you still have to remember that this is someone's like someone, no matter how terrible they may have been in life, no matter how great they were in life, this someone loved this person.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Right. That's another being.

SPEAKER_05 31:11

Yeah. And you have to give it the respect and the deference that it deserves. So it is not quite like TV. It's not, you know, we go on scene, we know immediately what happens. It takes up to 34 days sometimes for the toxicology to come back for me to be able to call a mom and say, hey, your s you know, your daughter died of a methamphetamine overdose or fentanyl, which is sleeping the country right now. And so they have to wait all that time. Can you imagine like for the parents who are listening, that I have to tell them it's gonna be about 30 days before I can give you an answer? Like, that's that's excruciating as a parent.

SPEAKER_04 31:47

Yeah. So wonders.

SPEAKER_05 31:49

Yeah, so that is the hard part of my job. And so that's the part you don't see on TV, or you see it for two seconds, and you don't realize that coroners like myself who care, we're sitting down with families for three and four hours at a time, going over autopsy reports, explaining the photos, explaining that, you know, hey, yes, your your child suffered, or your husband suffered, or no, they didn't suffer. And let me show you how I know that. So it's it's the living that that you're dealing with, and and people just think about it as you know, kind of like a science thing, like, oh, you get to go and see all this cool stuff, but yeah, we do, but you also spend most of your time explaining to the living why their loved ones no longer there. But I would do it every day.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

The roll of corners also involved with kind of uh policy, right? And and kind of uh influencing the the kind of direction that public health in the county goes. Is that yes?

SPEAKER_05 32:54

Not as much before, but now, like with me in office, I'm the first medical professional to ever hold a seat, Mike. Wait, wait a second. What now?

SPEAKER_04 33:02

Yes, I was about to ask that question next. Please tell us about the medical.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

How the hell does that happen?

SPEAKER_04 33:08

Oh, you guys don't know this history?

SPEAKER_01 33:11

No!

SPEAKER_04 33:13

Who does? I did my research. I did so I kind of know, but I would like for the listeners to know what medical, you know, background you have.

SPEAKER_05 33:22

So I'm a I'm a nurse practitioner, and I've I've let my I don't practice as a nurse practitioner right now, so um, but I was a board certified nurse practitioner, nationally board certified, and uh there was never a medical professional in the seat of Richland County Coroner. There's been a photographer, a football player, a tax assistant, a couple law enforcement folks.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

How do they do the things? They just hire somebody else.

SPEAKER_04 33:44

Isn't that scary? I saw the article. It was like it doesn't take a lot as your job title.

SPEAKER_05 33:51

No.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

I mean, granted, anytime it's an elected position, you know, we have we see that happen with sheriffs sometimes in places where the person who gets elected is just a person who decided to run. But I mean, I would expect that this is a very technical job that you have to have some skill for. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_05 34:13

Yeah, it is. And let me tell you, I'm investigating cases, like old cases right now. Like we have an 11-year-old who her death was never investigated. Like child fatality, it's a federal law that there's a child fatality review, and this they never even requested the medical records for this child until like a year after her death. So it's it's scary to know that we've never had a medical profession professional be in this seat. Like it's scary because what things were missed. Right.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

Yeah. How many cases? How many people were like sent to jail on evidence that was not collected?

SPEAKER_00 34:59

Goodness.

SPEAKER_03 35:01

It's scary.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

Well, glad we have you there now.

SPEAKER_03 35:04

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 35:05

Thank you. Oh my gosh. Goodness.

SPEAKER_01 35:09

So what are some of the things that you're trying to accomplish now that you that you are there?

SPEAKER_05 35:15

So the first thing that we needed to do when we got into office because there was no transition, the person who was there for 20 years was pretty upset that I won. And so I think they really just underestimated me and assumed that because I had a fashion business that I wasn't smart, um, I was like, I have four college degrees, but okay, cool, you know, no problem. Take that.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

One of them's medical.

SPEAKER_05 35:43

It was funny because people really were like, what qualifies you to be the coroner? And I was like, You realize the current person only has a high school diploma and has only had that high school diploma. Never mind. Anyway, I have several degrees here that that qualify me, certainly. But some of the things that we're trying to do is one, we have a coroner cadet program coming up. We're trying to get out into the community to reach students who were like myself. Maybe you come from a very underprivileged background, you have no idea that different career fields exist besides what you see on television and social media. So, one, I want to introduce the world of death investigation and science and ballistics and understanding, you know, blood patterns and how they may happen. And and so introducing um critical thinking in the in the terms of death investigation to the community in a way that's fun and informative. We are recording uh sessions that will teach our community about being prepared for the unexpected. It's called hashtag be ready. Um, and it's the concept of if you're ready, if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready. So teaching like the state planning and understanding all of the caveats that go with unexpected death and loss and being prepared for those things. So hopefully you guys will have me back so we can share that with you. But we have health initiatives where we're noticing certain trends and certain zip codes. So if we're noticing in the Hopkins area that there's a large amount of people dying from hypertensive or therosclerotic cardiovascular disease, we've put in some measures in place as a coroner's office to be able to show someone what a heart looks like that has that type of disease. Like, here's what's happening inside of your body every time you put the fatty fat back in your mouth is delicious, but it's also causing this to happen. So explaining to people and showing them in real time what things look like internally, so that maybe it encourages them to take their hypertensive, their antihypertensive medications, encouraging them to take their insulin and watch their sugar levels and understand what diabetes means and what can happen. So I'm coming at it from very much a healthcare standpoint, but we're also adding in that investigative piece for people who may be interested in careers such as this. That's a great approach.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

It is. You know what I like about it most? I'm not an anti-science person. I fully respect science. I'm just not a fan of doctors per se, but I love nurses. Because nurses know the things, but are not arrogant, dominant assholes about it.

SPEAKER_05 38:27

Well, uh, you know, we have some great doctors out there. I'll say that.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_05 38:32

But I'll tell you this, Mike. Um, I think that on a community level, especially in the black community, where things are not often explained to us where they make sense, or or we don't use language sometimes as healthcare. We're using medical jargon and people are just shaking their heads and have no idea what they were saying. And so for me, for my 15 years in healthcare, that was my goal to advocate for patients and make sure they understood why they were taking something, what it meant for them, what it meant for their body, and then also how does it affect your life, your everyday life? So I remember um being in my nurse practitioner program and I was shadowing a doctor. He was amazing, took great care with his patients. But at the end, he said, you know, you're going to have to adjust how you eat. And when he left out of the room, I asked the lady, I said, Are you on, I said, Do you have the resources to add more fruits and vegetables to your diet? And she just kind of looked and I said, Listen, hey, I'm not trying to get in your business, but are you on a fixed income? Like, how much money do you spend on groceries a week? Like, I want to help you.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

Because you're a nurse.

SPEAKER_05 39:42

Well, that's true. But she only had $30 to spend on groceries every week. Wow. So fresh fruits and vegetables are expensive. Yeah. And so what I said to her was okay, if you can't buy fresh, then buy frozen. Try to avoid canned because the sodium content is so high for the preservation of that item. So try frozen. And this lady, I was able to see her one more time before I left, and she said, It works. I never thought to buy frozen vegetables.

SPEAKER_00 40:14

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 40:14

And something so simple like that, where you just understanding how our minds work, that you can relate to people on a day.

SPEAKER_05 40:22

Well, that's been poor. So I know what like eating like canned vegetables every day because that's all you can afford because it's 57 cents. I know what that life is like. I know what it's like to eat saltine crackers from the salad bar at work because they are free and putting lemon in your water with those free sugar packets to make lemonade. Like I know what it's like to have a very limited income. So when I see patients, I don't assume they have resources. I ask. Right.

SPEAKER_01 40:52

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's yeah, that's that's wonderful. But I think I think that like the key part of it is that, you know, if if medicine is looked at like a lab experiment, then you're trying to control all the variables, and the craziest variable out there is the patient. And so, you know, if if you come at it from that perspective, then you're always fighting the patient because they're the thing screwing up your experiment. But if you come at it from a perspective of that the patient is in charge of this, and I'm trying to give them all of the tools and resources and information that they need to take care of themselves. And that that sounds like the direction that you're coming from with some of these programs is like, you know, here is what, here's here's what heart disease looks like. This is this is why you don't want to eat barbecue every day, because it's it's a problem.

SPEAKER_05 41:37

But barbecue is delicious and you can have it sometimes. But I want you to understand that if you're eating this way every single day, this is what you're doing to your body. And I think that most of us are visual, right? Like, see something, I'm like, wait, that's what my heart looks like. Right.

SPEAKER_01 41:55

Oh, yeah. I I remember going, you know, into the vet's office and they have those little plastic models of heartworms, and it always freaked me out. I was like, yes, I will take the heartworm pills for my dog here, have these.

SPEAKER_04 42:07

Right, right. So between being a mom, a coroner, and a business owner, you obviously juggle a lot and being on call 24-7. How do you find time to have self-care and balance and time management?

SPEAKER_05 42:24

So time management is key and understanding that things are you prioritize. So I always say this: there is no balance. There's no like one day it's all up or down, or there's no balance. What there is is intention. So I intentionally schedule time with myself, I intentionally take myself on dates, I intentionally take time to exercise, I intentionally take time to spend with my children. And if I just so happen to not have a super crazy day, I take advantage of it. So whether it's just going for a five-minute walk to clear my head or because I have heavy conversations all day long, I need quiet time.

unknown 43:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 43:09

I need time to just not talk and to be like, you know what? I don't feel like using my brain. Um, and it's relaxing to me to like get dressed up, to take pictures. You know, I've received a lot of criticism for that with my social media. You know, like she, you know, she I've been called the Barbie corner and corner bay, and you know, just all these things. It's so funny to me that people look at my appearance and and I guess objectify it in some way. But for me, it feels good to be like.

SPEAKER_01 43:39

You like clothes, you can't be smart.

SPEAKER_05 43:41

Right. Like, oh wow, I can't have a brain and know how to put clothes together. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_04 43:48

That's just a lie. That's just asking a lot. Asking so much. Oh my gosh. But it's walking superhero, literally.

SPEAKER_05 43:56

No, man. I'm just I'm just a regular girl who has figured some things out and still and and I'm smart enough to know that I don't have it all figured out. I ask for help and I schedule time. That is the biggest thing. Like if you're if your listeners don't take anything else away from this conversation today, I hope they take away to schedule time for yourself and stick to it. Just like you would stick to the meeting where you're making the pitch for the next big project to put those coins in your pocket. I hope that you're also taking time to put that mental currency that you need for a rainy day to be able to handle the heavy things of your life. I hope you're scheduling that time just as seriously and sticking to it.

SPEAKER_04 44:35

So was there ever a time where you felt overwhelmed with your responsibilities as far as being a corner, a mom, or a business owner? Hell yeah!

SPEAKER_02 44:46

Wait, can I like every day?

SPEAKER_05 44:51

I hope y'all don't have to bleep that out, but listen.

SPEAKER_00 44:55

No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 44:56

Listen to me. There are moments that are so overwhelming that I have to sit in a dark room and just cry. Okay? I am not ashamed to say that. There are moments where you're just like, wow, this is really my day today. And so I am overwhelmed when I'm not organized. So that's one of the biggest lessons that I've learned in the last like four years of my life. When I feel overwhelmed, it's because I'm unorganized and I have not prioritized properly. So if I have that feeling, I take a look at my schedule and I say, okay. And my my my deputy chief, her name is Ovita Wilson. She's amazing. I love her. Shout out to Ovita. She has learned in this year to say, you know what? What if you have these many, if you have this many meetings on your schedule, she'll schedule me time off. Like she'll be like, No, you have you have lunch right now. I'm like, I have lunch. She was like, go in your office and close the door. Got it. Okay, you're right. Or she'll say, you know what, coroner? I think that you need a moment before you talk to this next family. And she'll tell the next family, hey, I need you to give the coroner a moment. She just finished with a family. Allow her to recenter and refocus. And people appreciate the transparency and the honesty.

SPEAKER_02 46:18

Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 46:19

I was just about to say that. I love your transparency.

SPEAKER_05 46:22

Yeah, I'm I'm transparent, man. Like I don't, I don't have anything to hide. And so if I need a break, I take a break.

SPEAKER_01 46:30

Right. Well, and you know, I think I think what we we learned from the other generations that didn't do that was in you just had all this stuff spewing out all over the place. You know, like people were just getting angry and flipping out on people for no reason and no explanation. Nobody knew what the hell was going on. And nowadays we're kind of like, well, look, it's not you. I'm I'm going through some shit. Give me a second.

SPEAKER_05 46:51

Right. But you know the other thing, and this was something I've learned in the last like decade of my life. My testimony doesn't have to be a badge of honor. Like, I don't have to wear that like it's a badge of honor. Like I can sit that down and not carry that and wear that every day. So I think before, like, there's this whole like strong black woman narrative out there, and this rhetoric that, you know, you gotta be a strong black woman. Sis, I'm tired and I'm going to rest. And I don't have to struggle through these moments. Like, I was sharing with you guys at the beginning. I almost died the first week of January, like 2022, like a few weeks ago. Like, I almost died. Like, heart needed epinephrine to keep going, type die. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 47:39

This was uh COVID-related?

SPEAKER_05 47:40

It was COVID related, but it wasn't my son got COVID. I was taking care of him, I was being super careful, I'm triple vaccinated, all the things, right? And I almost died. And I don't tell you what almost dying will do to your perspective, change it.

SPEAKER_03 47:56

Doesn't it?

SPEAKER_05 47:57

Yeah, it will change it. And I said, you know, I and I'm I'm pretty good about being intentional about self-care and all of those things. But what I realized in that week of laying there in that hospital was I don't have to be strong all the time. Like I can admit saying, Hey, I need to be weak in this moment. And so when I came home, my friends literally had like a schedule, like, hey, she said that she needs us to be there for her. Like, I needed a hug. I needed, I need to know people loved me.

SPEAKER_00 48:32

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:34

I don't so I do not support, and I used to support the strong black woman narrative hard. I mean, super heavy. And now I'm like, no, sis. I bruh, I'm tired. It takes a kick.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

Right. Right. Nobody's an island. Like, like we we need other people, and that whole mentality of that you have to be strong and singular is actually like keeping us, you know, not as strong as we could be as a community.

SPEAKER_03 49:01

Yeah. Oh toxic.

SPEAKER_01 49:05

So, yeah, this is that's I'm glad you made it. I'm actually on day two of COVID. That's that's why my voice is here. But I'm I'm also vaccinated, and I think that has really saved my behind because yesterday I felt like absolute death, and this morning I feel like 75%. So hopefully I'll be rebounded in a couple days, but I am now definitely telling people that like, yeah, if I'd have felt like that for seven days, I no, no, hell no. Thank you, vaccine. And it sounds like you you were also vaccinated, so your situation was was also could have been a whole lot worse.

SPEAKER_05 49:41

Oh, yeah. And I'll tell you, it wasn't COVID that got me. My symptoms weren't improving. And so they attempted to give me the antibody infusion, and I had an anaphylactic, so like just a severe allergic reaction and ended with perycarditis.

SPEAKER_03 49:57

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05 49:57

It's super rare. Like, they don't even have like real like records of people having this reaction to the antibodies. So I just had a super rare, weird reaction that put me in the hospital for seven days. So it wasn't COVID that tried to take me out.

SPEAKER_01 50:13

A reaction to the treatment. That also happens, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 50:17

Yeah, so it I'm here. The devil didn't win this round.

SPEAKER_04 50:22

So, what projects are you working on? Or where can we see you in the future or hear more about what you have going on?

SPEAKER_05 50:30

Follow me at Nada Rutherford, N-A-I-D-A-R-U-T-H-E-R-F-O-R-D on social media. I've been off of social media since the first. I haven't gone back on because I was admitted to the hospital that day. But my birthday is coming up on February 7th. And so I plan to do a huge post, a rebranding, putting some cool things out there. So please follow me at Nada Rutherford. You can go check out the website for the corner stuff at rccco.com. And if you are interested in vintage, modern, cool fashion, you can check out the now then store on Instagram and Facebook. We're also located at 607 Lady Street, downtown Columbia. Open on Saturdays only right now from 11 a.m. until 6 p.m. And so we're closed today because of the snow. I'll put that in quotations. Yes, because I was just about to ask you, I need an outfit for the gala tonight. We're not open today, but we'll be open next Saturday. And um I hope people come out because we're doing a huge blowout sale where everything will be $5, including evening gowns. Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 51:39

You know I like my evening gowns.

SPEAKER_05 51:43

Well, we have some, we have sometimes we get some cool stuff in for guys, but the guy stuff goes so fast that we just sounds like a good deal to me, is all, you know, because I'm I am you know moderately aware of fashion prices.

SPEAKER_01 51:56

So I think some of our listeners should go check you out.

SPEAKER_05 51:59

Yes, absolutely. Check us out. So we're we're trying to stay open. COVID has made it difficult for us, but if we can stay open past May, I think we can do it. But we're struggling. So guys, please show us some love and support. We would really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_04 52:13

Yeah, any way we can help you um repost or brand, just let us know. I sure will. Thank you so much. No problem. Thank you for joining us. Mike, you have any other questions?

SPEAKER_01 52:22

I'm good to go. Thank you so much for your service and thanks for coming on the show. Seems like you're doing good work in the community, and that's that's something that we like to acknowledge and support here, and it's kind of what we're about.

SPEAKER_05 52:32

Thank you guys so much for having me. I'm so honored and humbled every single time someone wants to hear my story, um, especially in a forum like this. So, thank you so much for allowing me to show up as my authentic self and to share with your listeners uh just a little bit about what we do at the coroner's office and who I am. So, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 52:51

You're welcome. No problem. So I'm just gonna call that a wrap and thank you everybody for tuning in to another episode of the Hot Talk Love Podcast. We'll see you soon.