THG Mother's Day 51124 Episode
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[00:00:00] DJ And?: Welcome back to the Hilltop Glove podcast. And today's episode, it's a special episode. It's the Mother's Day episode. We're thrilled to have two incredible guests, Lucretia Branch and Lisa Staggers. Lucretia, affectionately known as Cree, the creative, is a multi talented visionary and trailblazer who has significantly impacted the local music and art scene in Columbia, South Carolina, with her diverse skillset.

[00:00:22] DJ And?: With over six years of experience in project management across various sectors, including events, marketing, media production, and public relations. She has truly become the nucleus of her community. As a masterful connector, Cree generously shares resources and contacts that empower artists and creatives, making her an invaluable asset to the creative community.

[00:00:42] DJ And?: Beyond her community engagement, she excels as a freelancer, offering services in social media management, creative consulting, project management, and resume editing. Currently, she holds a pivotal role as a project manager at a nonprofit art organization. Overseeing artist development programs and playing a [00:01:00] key role in planning, executing, and evaluating workshops.

[00:01:04] DJ And?: On the other side, we have Lisa Staggers, a visionary in the world of event planning. As the owner and principal planner of Purple Crane, Lisa has elevated event planning to an art form. Her journey from planning destination vacations to orchestrating large scale government and civic events demonstrates a profound evolution, marked by constant learning and improvement.

[00:01:27] DJ And?: With a foundation in marketing and formal training in meeting and event planning from the University of North Carolina, Lisa has mastered the art of crafting memorable experiences. Beyond her professional achievements, passion for life as seen in her love for the South Carolina coast and quality time with her daughter Savannah, adds a personal touch to her professional persona, making her not just an event planner, but a curator of moments.

[00:01:52] DJ And?: Man, y'all sound like some good individuals to speak to today. How are you two doing? How 

[00:01:58] Tamyia: does that feel to hear your [00:02:00] bio? 

[00:02:00] Cre: Oh, that's me. Okay. I like it. 

[00:02:03] Lisa: I want to date me. 

[00:02:05] Tamyia: That's so funny. 

[00:02:06] DJ And?: Wow. Wow. I mean, it's always cool when we talk to our guests, we try to tell them they don't sometimes understand who they are because you're in your own skin, right?

[00:02:14] DJ And?: But we talk to the people we talk to for a reason. Usually these folks are pretty excellent. Yeah. In some way, shape or form of what they do, how to interact with the community, family, friends, or et cetera. And so we always like to uplift people. But today, of course, it's a special episode because our mother's day episode.

[00:02:29] DJ And?: And so we want to uplift the mother. So we've got two excellent mothers to talk to today. And I'm not going to talk that much. I'm going to go ahead and let Tamaya talk 

[00:02:36] Tamyia: to give you your flowers. If we really had flowers. Yeah, we got, 

[00:02:42] DJ And?: we got, we got, we got a straw, but we got fruit or flowers. 

[00:02:45] Tamyia: I like this, that we did this because it's like, it's a mother's day episode, but You know, a guy is opening up the episode and introducing.

[00:02:52] Tamyia: So it's like we're giving you your flowers, honoring you, value you. Well, thank you. 

[00:02:56] Cre: Thank you. 

[00:02:57] Tamyia: First off, let's start off with yours, Zodiac sign. 

[00:02:59] Cre: [00:03:00] Oh, I'm a Virgo, honey. Lord. Cancer. 

[00:03:02] Tamyia: I'm sorry. I just had to get that out of the way. All right. So I both, I personally know both of you. Wonderful ladies. Talk about your journey through motherhood and the process of becoming a mother.

[00:03:12] Tamyia: What was it like? 

[00:03:13] Lisa: Well, for me my husband and I tried six years, and we got diagnosed with unexplained infertility, and then we started our journey at Columbia, in West Columbia. I did what's called IUI, Intrauterine Resemblation. I did two rounds. The first round, I had too many follicles, which was too many.

[00:03:33] Lisa: And the second round, still too many follicles, but we took a chance then because I couldn't do anything else, and I ended up with one child, my daughter Savannah. Who will be four this year. Yay! And hopefully, fingers crossed, toes crossed, all things, I will have another child sooner rather than later.

[00:03:49] Cre: Yay! Okay. 

[00:03:50] Lisa: And 

[00:03:51] Cre: you, Cree? My transition was very interesting because I was a college kid I was going into my junior year in college, had my first child, [00:04:00] then I was pregnant my senior year in college. And then pregnant first year of grad school. So I don't know what I was thinking. Oh, wow. So it was very interesting.

[00:04:07] Cre: And it's, it's interesting to hear her story of having issues with infertility. We was like, I was super fertile, but I also had a traumatic birth experience with the the epidural, epidural where we're off. It took, how do I explain it? So the epidural is supposed to wear off a couple hours after birth.

[00:04:24] Cre: Mine didn't wear off until the next. And that is the cause of a lot of the chronic health conditions I have today regarding my spine facet arthropathy, fibromyalgia and bulging discs. So none, I had none of these issues before that. And then the second and third time I gave birth, trying to tell the doctors like, okay, you know, I'm thinking they're going to tell me, well, it doesn't sound like you should get the epidural because it sounded like you had a reaction.

[00:04:47] Cre: Nope. Just jot down their notes. And whatever, so I did that three times and that really caused me a lot of issues. And so again, I'm a college kid and graduate student and at that [00:05:00] time, yeah, I was with the father of my children. We were actually engaged. I walked away. But we cool though. You know, we cool.

[00:05:05] Cre: So, like, we real cool. You know, so I actually want to make a song about him. But but yeah, so it was a very interesting journey to, to motherhood. 

[00:05:13] DJ And?: I hear you. I hear you. Man. I will say this, I'm going to be quiet if I say this, but the, the, the different types of journeys that you see, let you know the importance of motherhood and the, the, the seriousness that's behind it.

[00:05:28] DJ And?: Motherhood does not come easy. I'm happy. I'm here. I'll tell you like this. Hey, 

[00:05:33] Tamyia: that's on this side of the table. 

[00:05:35] DJ And?: Yeah, I'm happy. I'm here. Oh, I appreciate y'all mothers. 

[00:05:40] Tamyia: Yeah, that was 

[00:05:41] DJ And?: real G A S. You know, 

[00:05:42] Tamyia: because it's like. We don't really understand how much you guys sacrifice. Yeah. Like down to the core of it.

[00:05:49] Tamyia: Sometimes kids can be kind of ungrateful growing up and not knowing your story from the beginning. So, it's good that we have this documented for your kids to know. Yeah. 

[00:05:58] Lisa: I'm gonna run this right back to [00:06:00] you. Yeah. 

[00:06:00] Tamyia: Yeah. Like, how dare you? Girl, do you know? Yeah.

[00:06:04] DJ And?: It makes sense now. Gosh, man. Because I get to hear this stuff. Lisa knows, I mean, Lisa knows my wife good, Lord, she keeps telling me these stories about how hard it is for women to have children, the stuff you gotta go through. So now, I'm actually afraid to get pregnant, because I'm like, God, could this something bad happen?

[00:06:19] Lisa: There is nothing to be afraid of. I am here as your wealth of knowledge. I see it. 

[00:06:23] DJ And?: I've been trying, look, I've been trying to tell her, don't tell me the past, tell me all the good stories. 

[00:06:27] Lisa: It's, it's, and, and the thing about, I was a little odd. I was one, I was a couple years from being considered a geriatric pregnancy, which is the first time pregnancy that takes place when you're 35 or older. But In my third trimester, I got diagnosed with Tyrus anyway, because my daughter had what's called marginal cord insertion, which means her her umbilical cord implant directly in the middle of the placenta was off to the side.

[00:06:52] Lisa: So they were afraid that she wasn't getting the nutrients. That was found as a fluke and I changed providers. They did an ultrasound on [00:07:00] me and was like they missed this. So 

[00:07:02] Tamyia: it's also good to get follow up 

[00:07:05] Lisa: and have a lot of second opinions at times. And I had a pandemic baby. 

[00:07:09] DJ And?: Oh goodness. 

[00:07:11] Lisa: So, 

[00:07:12] DJ And?: you know, 

[00:07:12] Lisa: things like that happen.

[00:07:13] DJ And?: You didn't get, you didn't get, you weren't allowed to have the traditional or normal child pregnancy experience. No, 

[00:07:21] Lisa: I had a virtual baby shower. Oh my God. I developed anxiety during the time. I didn't let anybody come to my house. If you came to my house, we were standing outside, or I was talking to you through the glass door.

[00:07:32] Lisa: Yeah, it was, it was a time. This one 

[00:07:34] DJ And?: here, y'all. It was a 

[00:07:35] Lisa: time One here. 

[00:07:36] DJ And?: Well, they had the they had the drop off box at the front. Yeah. Nah, they ain't play, look. I was not playing. I was like, I was about to see my brother. Drop off what you need, P. I was like, I was about to see my brother. I was about to see him through the glass.

[00:07:46] Lisa: Can't, can't call. However, however, however. Even through all of that, I had an amazing support system. This gentleman here in front of me, my lovely brother in law, was the first one to see Savannah. He was the first one to see [00:08:00] Savannah. And it wasn't by choice. It was by circumstance. He was also the first one to see me in labor.

[00:08:04] Lisa: I 

[00:08:04] DJ And?: went and got her out of the car.

[00:08:06] Lisa: I'll never forget it. My car pulled up. And he looked up from his, his little mobile stand and he looked up and he looked back down and then he looked up and his eyes were big quarters like. I know these people. Yeah. And he comes running out and he's like, you need a wheelchair? And I'm like, no, I can walk.

[00:08:23] Lisa: And that contraction hit and he was like, you need a wheelchair.

[00:08:25] Lisa: And we got up to the front and I was kiki ing with the ladies and I was like, I am not in pain. I don't. Ooh. Pull out your force. That's both women for you, right? I got this. No, I don't. I was like, I'm not in pain. And he was like, y'all need to take care of her. And once Savannah was born, he came up and, and look, you know, he was the first one to see her.

[00:08:42] Tamyia: We do have a little dichotomy here. So you have boys, you have Savannah. So tell us what your experience is like birthing. Even like to now, like, did you have how many? Three? 

[00:08:54] Cre: I have teen boys. I have three. I have a son that just turned 12 yesterday, a child that, wait, [00:09:00] he just turned 12. He'll be 13 on the 25th.

[00:09:02] Cre: So I had two kids in May. What was I thinking? Wow. What was I thinking? Wow. And then one that turns 15 in August. 

[00:09:09] DJ And?: Oh. So you had a summer pregnancy. 

[00:09:11] Cre: Yes. I went through summers pregnant. And yeah, so it's boys are very interesting. Boys keep you on your toes. Like all kids, they have this burst and ball of energy, but boys, they like to risk their life a lot.

[00:09:24] Cre: And I'm like, oh my gosh, you guys just not kill yourself today. Like, it's very nerve wracking at times, but it's also cool because we have a lot of it's a lot of fun. 

[00:09:34] Tamyia: Like 

[00:09:34] Cre: one of my sons, I like to wrestle with him a lot. Part of it is like, don't get it twisted. I may be like 115, but I'm really strong.

[00:09:40] Cre: Okay. I'd be winning, but I'd be out of breath for like 30 minutes. So I'd be winning the rest of the match, but I'm out of breath. I'm not as in shape as you. So we have like a really fun relationship, but also be tough with boys because boys don't listen. 

[00:09:54] Tamyia: They 

[00:09:55] Cre: don't, you can be nice and say things 50 times.

[00:09:58] Cre: Then on that 60th [00:10:00] time, now I yell and it's like, why is she yelling? I'm like, because you don't listen the first time. Very interesting. Very interesting. And they take care of me. They definitely are protectors. I 

[00:10:09] DJ And?: know how it was. I can't forget to tell you because my mother, three boys. And when she was raising us, I was like, Yeah, we didn't want no people around that we didn't know.

[00:10:19] DJ And?: Cause a guy who's gonna get degree, not third degree, F degree. We're gonna check everybody that came through. We're gonna smell front, back, side to side. We're gonna make sure we go and get the records. We gotta know who's who and what's what. And we ain't gonna let you even see my mom without us being there.

[00:10:33] DJ And?: We're gonna be sitting at, wait, looking at everything. There's no closed doors in this house. No closed doors, no closed doors. That was us for real. We were serious about that. We didn't play that closed doors stuff. But I mean, we had to understand too that, that she is a grown woman. She has to move on and do, but still as, as boys, we're really protective of her.

[00:10:51] Cre: I do have to kind of check my middle son, who's my Gemini. Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, you are not my father. See? Thank you, my daddy. And I won't, I like that you're trying to [00:11:00] protect me, but I got this. Okay. Yeah. I 

[00:11:03] DJ And?: have to ask you this too, just cause I, I, I was a child raised by my mama. And do you, do you have any, this is a good mother's day question.

[00:11:12] DJ And?: Like, do you feel, and they always say this, that a mom who's raising boys, she has to be the father and the mother. Do you feel that's something that is real with you or does their father do what's necessary for him to, so you can just be a mother and not have to be two fold persons. Okay. Thanks. 

[00:11:28] Cre: I never, I understand that mothers and fathers roles are very different.

[00:11:32] Cre: I can be everything I need to be. But at the end of the day, these boys, when they get older, they're going to start looking to what the men are doing. 

[00:11:39] Tamyia: Yeah. 

[00:11:39] Cre: So I do have a masculine aspect of me. I was always kind of like a tomboy. I'll be hung out with a bunch of boys, but I also understand I'm still a woman.

[00:11:47] Cre: So, Because my children in our situation, my father, their father lives in Greenwood. This is where we went to college. We were Landers. Oh, okay. Lander in the house in Greenwood. So I'm with them the majority of the time. So at the majority of the time I [00:12:00] do have to kind of, it's a soft nurturing side of me, but there's also like I business, but I'm also like always been a mystical kind of person, which I annoy my boys.

[00:12:10] Cre: Cause I'm trying to do structure and they don't see the bigger, bigger picture. So sometimes, you know, we bump heads over that. Cause I, it's so. Things that I'm trying to teach them. This is how this goes. And they're like, why should I care? So, so, so I do, so I would never say I'd never tried to be a father.

[00:12:26] Cre: I understand, you know, their father is involved. Even though I'm with them the majority of the time, but it's like, I could never be a father. You wouldn't try to 

[00:12:34] DJ And?: step in and be that, that master of his own. 

[00:12:37] Cre: And that's why I have my sons, even though, you know, their father lives in Greenwood. So it's not like he'd get them every weekend, but he, there are times where I might send them with him for a whole month for the summer.

[00:12:47] Cre: There was a time where I actually let them live with him for two years. But when they're here, it's like, I have mentors. I have them in mentor programs. They don't have like their own mentor, but big homie, little homie. Whenever they're having events, I send them there. Then there's I can't think of his name right [00:13:00] now.

[00:13:00] Cre: I can't think of his name right now. I'm gonna come back to it, but he has programs. So, I try to get my sons around men that I understand. 

[00:13:07] DJ And?: Respectable. Yeah, 

[00:13:09] Cre: respectable men. I don't let, it's a lot of. 

[00:13:11] DJ And?: As a mother, I ask, my mom had to do that. You have to find the right type of. Mentorship for your, your son.

[00:13:16] DJ And?: Yeah. Because some 

[00:13:17] Cre: people are like, it is just gotta be a man. I'm like, no. Mm-Hmm. M no. So my sons are kind of sheltered in a sense, for real. Like, I will say I don't let them run super loose. Okay. You know, like when they're not being left unsupervised with people that I'm like why you with them? I'm very tight about that, you know, so I'm very selective about being there around 

[00:13:39] Tamyia: people.

[00:13:40] Tamyia: That's good. That kind of goes into our next question. What is, how is your relationship with your kids grown over time? You know, you have 15 years, three years. How, when they were a child, how they act towards you compared to now? 

[00:13:55] Cre: Yeah, well, now, okay, so, now, I used to, I used to be very [00:14:00] nurturing and hug on them and kiss them all the time and now it's like I'm lucky they want to hug me, like, and it hurts my feelings, but I'm also very big on like, respect, like, okay, if you don't want to be touched, you know, but they're, but I do have a policy, like, when I'm leaving the house, if y'all about to leave your house, go to your daddy.

[00:14:15] Cre: Come here, 

[00:14:16] Tamyia: because something 

[00:14:16] Cre: could happen on the way. Mama, what? Nothing's going to happen. Just give me a hug. 

[00:14:20] Tamyia: You don't know. So 

[00:14:21] Cre: there, it's a little less less affectionate as it used to be because their choice, their teens. They're like, Mama, that's for little boys. I don't want to be. Send up your laughing stuff.

[00:14:29] Cre: Oh, yeah. But also, see, I missed that. I love that. Like, you gotta cherish it. They 

[00:14:35] DJ And?: always say you gotta miss that. Like, you don't get it back. Once it's gone, it goes away. 

[00:14:39] Cre: Yeah. 

[00:14:41] DJ And?: Yeah. And 

[00:14:42] Cre: what else? I'm thinking, like, I, I talk to them a whole, whole lot. Well, I think I've always talked their heads off. And I 

[00:14:48] DJ And?: open up to them at times.

[00:14:49] DJ And?: But do they like the communication? 

[00:14:51] Cre: They're, they think I talk too much. Which I do. But I'm also like, I'm a teacher. I'm very big on teaching people. I was 

[00:14:57] DJ And?: about to say. Like, I'm very in [00:15:00] on like, like, 

[00:15:00] Cre: okay. But mom, we already went to school. No school educates you on what they want to educate you. And we can, that's programming.

[00:15:07] DJ And?: Thank you. Lessons. And we, child, that's a whole other talk. So I'm like, no, we have 

[00:15:11] Cre: books here. I want, let's watch this film together. Cause this is educational purpose. When we plan vacations, it's, we going somewhere educational. But mom, but we already learning. I don't need it. So, so, so a part of, I would say the teenage stage is very rough.

[00:15:28] Cre: Kind of like want to be their own people. And, and I think the testosterone boost popping in, it's trying to convince you that you're a man, but you're not. 

[00:15:36] DJ And?: You ain't got all the tools, bruh. You ain't got all the tools. You don't 

[00:15:39] Cre: have, you don't see what I'm trying to protect you from. So it can get a little rocky.

[00:15:43] Cre: But also we always kind of come back to center. So it's, it's a lot. 

[00:15:48] DJ And?: So how's it been with you, with the baby over there? Past three 

[00:15:52] Cre: years. 

[00:15:53] Tamyia: Past three years. 

[00:15:54] Lisa: People say the infant stage is the hardest thing. I mean, granted, I only slept four hours a day.

[00:15:59] Lisa: But [00:16:00] I was also a full time nursing, a full time nurse. She only had breast milk up until she was about four. So, she was so much like, where you at? Oh, you was, you was the milk. There was pictures of her like, Her hands pressed against the screen door, like looking out like, where is my lunch ? Yeah.

[00:16:18] Lisa: You 

[00:16:19] DJ And?: were a lunch. 

[00:16:19] Lisa: Yeah, I was breakfast, lunch, snack, after dinner, snack. I was everything. And I was also a over supplier, so I donated too, so I was always, I was a human cow. 

[00:16:30] Tamyia: No, really, but 

[00:16:31] Lisa: yo, it does feel that. Well, really cow. But back then it was a lot easier because all she wanted to do was nurses.

[00:16:39] Lisa: Mm-Hmm. . You didn't have to do anything. Well now. As close to almost four and she is hyperactive. She has constantly be stimulated consistently all the time. She wakes up at 7 30 in the morning. Like she just wakes up so aggressively and knocks on her door. Like y'all better come get me out of here. Cause I'm like, she goes [00:17:00] to bed at the time.

[00:17:01] Lisa: Grown people go to bed like between nine and 10 o'clock. She's constantly going. And as a person who likes to like turn the volume down after I go to work now at work But once I want to turn the volume down, her volume is still at a hundred. It's like, my God, what else do you need? Now, granted she she's three and a half, but she's meeting five year old milestone.

[00:17:26] Lisa: Because we do, we, we, we stimulate her, 

[00:17:29] DJ And?: but you ain't got no choice. 

[00:17:30] Lisa: It's 

[00:17:32] DJ And?: not even like, I'm not trying to hit these milestones. She got, 

[00:17:35] Lisa: but if you hear her talk, she talks in complete cynicism. She can articulate exactly what she wants, when she wants, how she wanted. If she doesn't want what you're giving her there's still emotional regulation to be done.

[00:17:45] Tamyia: Yeah. She 

[00:17:45] Lisa: still needs emotional regulation, but as far as telling you, like, I don't want the pink one. I want the blue one. And we read to her ever since she was in my belly. I was reading to her. All of those things culminate into that, excuse me, extremely hyperactive child [00:18:00] that I have, but, but I changed her.

[00:18:02] Lisa: She's mine. She's supposed to be that way for a reason. So, you know, when she gets 15, I am, I am really looking forward to when y'all hear me say when she gets 15, right? I'm really looking forward to like 15, 18, because. We have given her freedom that we're going to consistently give her. Like she's not put in a box.

[00:18:22] Lisa: Right. Like I was raised in the street, you know, my dad was in the military. Yeah. Rules very black. It's like, you did it or you didn't like, but for her, which served me well. Because it made me grow up into a very disciplined individual. That Virgo, bro, I'll tell you what 

[00:18:38] Tamyia: we 

[00:18:39] Lisa: need. We 

[00:18:39] DJ And?: need it. We need it. We need it.

[00:18:42] DJ And?: But the funny 

[00:18:42] Lisa: thing is she's also a Virgo, but she's been given freedom. So I really want, I really am interested how does she turn out. She's 

[00:18:48] Tamyia: gonna bloom. Turn out. She's gonna bloom.

[00:18:51] DJ And?: Yeah. Here's another thing too. I wanted to say this to you all because it's interesting hearing you all's discussions. Because my, my wife, she did [00:19:00] a search. In her master's program, she actually went and talked to women about pregnancy, about being mothers, at a beauty salon, and she was talking to a lot of older mothers and stuff like that.

[00:19:12] DJ And?: What's cool today is we're talking to younger mothers, and we're in a different time and age. Allergy. Oh god. Computer. Oh god. How has you all heard from your mothers and their mothers, how has the technology changed what you're seeing dealing with your children, especially with yours, them being teenage boys.

[00:19:31] DJ And?: I would say, boy, I'm happy. We had technology. They got problems. Yeah. 

[00:19:37] Cre: See, luckily for them, I'm a tech whiz. I love technology. In fact, my master's degree program I'm working on now is IT management. So it works in my favor that I'm aware, but I'm not gonna lie. It's overwhelming. It literally feels like I have to be a tech specialist.

[00:19:50] Cre: Like I'm the IT support person. Yes. Because it's like, I don't, I never wanted my kids to have phones. Their dad got My oldest, the phone, I just recently got the other ones [00:20:00] because in middle school, I feel like, okay, you know, something happens. You need to be able to call me. 

[00:20:03] Tamyia: That's it. If I could 

[00:20:04] Cre: do it, if I could literally like wave a wand over it, I don't have phones at all.

[00:20:08] Cre: Y'all find the closest pay phone. That's what we, but that's not the world we live in. So I'm very tech savvy in the sense that, Oh, I go through phones. I don't, I don't want to hear nothing about privacy. Ain't no privacy technology because people want to, it's like, no, this is not the world we live in. So I actually have iPhone and on iPhone, you can put downtime on your kids phones.

[00:20:30] Cre: Oh, and also, you could literally set, you could set off your network for 24 hours, three hours. So there'll be times I'll leave the house and I'll be like, y'all already had them So midway, I shut the internet off. Mama, why you shutting up? Cause I knew y'all was on there. So 

[00:20:48] Tamyia: they'd 

[00:20:48] Cre: be mad with me, but I feel like I have to work overtime and there's times where it's like, I don't have time to look at all this stuff.

[00:20:55] Cre: So, but I do have to make that time and, and people are like, Oh, you shouldn't go through their [00:21:00] stuff. No. Cause you don't know what these kids are up to and what they're looking at. That's why I have to walk off as 

[00:21:04] DJ And?: strangers in the middle of the night and stuff. And people ain't wanting to, cause you didn't want to check their phone to see who they were.

[00:21:09] Cre: Right. Yeah, so I'm, I'm a big belief, but I, yeah, I hate that. It's overwhelming. It's exhausting. I also try to educate them. I've also watched a documentary with them. What's, what's it called? I forgot, but it was a childhood 2. 0. It's on freebie. You can watch on your fire stick where there is the people who are over this bark app, it's, it's called, they also have like a little thing where they filter through your kids messages and if Something harmful or something shaky there, they'll notify you.

[00:21:39] Cre: So I, I brought the thing, but I never set it up, but they're the ones who are behind this documentary and they're talking about kids, like the mental health issues kids are having because they're scrolling on this phone and all this stuff. So I tried to show my kids that they still don't care. But it's okay because I expect you to be mad because you don't want limits.

[00:21:57] Cre: Yeah, you don't wanna have to do so. I have to be the [00:22:00] villain, the bad guy, but it's like y'all will thank me later. So when you're still alive, And 

[00:22:05] DJ And?: you got self esteem and you don't have problems with anxiety. 

[00:22:09] Cre: Right, and that's something I do. I asked my oldest son. So my oldest son, he's autistic. He's on the high functioning spectrum.

[00:22:15] Tamyia: Yeah, 

[00:22:15] Cre: he's not, I would not say he's nonverbal. He talks really well. 

[00:22:20] Tamyia: He's just 

[00:22:21] Cre: Introvert. Mm-Hmm. . So he is, sometimes I have to probe him for stuff. 

[00:22:25] Tamyia: Yeah. 

[00:22:25] Cre: And I, the one thing I always ask him, have you seen anything lately that made you feel like you were less of a person? Blah, blah, blah. He'd be like, Hmm, no.

[00:22:32] Cre: You know, he'll sit and think about it. But it's like, I try to have conversations with them so that they know, you know, so they keep getting these seeds planted that what you see on here is not real. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Majority, it's two different worlds. This is just, it's not real life. Yeah.

[00:22:45] Cre: Everything's in extremes here. So I try to. Yeah, so that makes me feel like, that's literally like an additional 20 hours added throughout the week. Phantom work. Cause now I gotta check phones, now I gotta educate you, now, 

[00:22:57] DJ And?: now I I think you just turn the TV off. Yeah. Or you can go outside, [00:23:00] right? Yeah, go outside.

[00:23:00] DJ And?: But 

[00:23:00] Tamyia: that, that kind of goes into our next question, like continuing education, like, you know. What are some helpful tips that you give your kids, if they were younger until now, that they could take with, on with them for the rest of their lives? 

[00:23:12] Cre: I'm very big on like thinking for yourself. I tell them reading is like a big thing for us.

[00:23:19] Cre: So I'm like, you see all these books in here, some of it might be fiction, but Hey, it's helping you and always never take anything at face value. You need to do your research. And I also very big on, I tell them everything's like a diet. So I have a very conflicting relationship with hip hop and my kids because On one hand, I've exposed them to some of it, or they, and now they're at that age where they're going to choose what they want.

[00:23:43] Cre: When they were younger, I would try to expose them to a lot of the positive side things. And also telling them like this industry stuff, a lot of this is not real. They don't want to hear it, but it's like, these people are not doing a lot of the things they're rapping about. And I try to tell them, if this is all you listen to, if all you listen to is [00:24:00] violent music all day, you're going to find yourself violent.

[00:24:03] Cre: Just like if you keep watching TV and. Keeping your head on these screens where you don't really actually touch grass. Your brain, your brain is not going to be able to focus on what's important. So I'm always trying to teach them balance. Also like food, it is a big thing. My kids, of course, you should hear them mimicking me.

[00:24:19] Cre: Cause I have this saying, I'm portion control. So they're like, so they're saying it to like, to talk about me because You're not going to overdo your portion size. Yeah, yeah. And that's why they are very, they're in shape, you know. So I only give them water, ain't no Kool Aid, ain't no juice, juices. Awesome.

[00:24:37] Tamyia: Don't 

[00:24:37] Cre: overdo junk food. You can have it for birthday party, I don't care. But I don't fry anything at home. So like I give them, I'm trying to give them healthier choices. Now it ain't completely perfect because sometimes we just need convenience. Yeah, 

[00:24:48] DJ And?: because. Children, yeah, stuff you gotta do. Yeah.

[00:24:50] DJ And?: Stuff 

[00:24:51] Cre: I gotta do, but it's also like an overall thing where it's like, I'm trying to teach them, like everything has limits. It's all about balance. You can have that, but you can't have [00:25:00] too much of that. So I think for me, everything is, a lot of the advice I give is. Mental, spiritual, mental, spiritual, physical illness.

[00:25:09] DJ And?: So, we got this little one over here, you should be wild. She got some tips and trips. 

[00:25:14] Lisa: I'm a huge science believer, so I do a lot of reading on parenting from psychologists. Most recently, the most recent book I read was Parenting Your Spirited Child. Yay! Because when you have a kid who is innately Rebellious, not because she's being mean, but it's like you need to eat healthy food.

[00:25:35] Lisa: My daughter will tell me straight up. I don't like healthy foods, mama. Oh my God. I dare you. I'm like, Oh my God. You know, or she'll be, I'll be like, she'll ask me, what are you cooking? And I'm like, I'm cooking salmon. I don't like salmon. So what we've decided to do is we've decided to lie. Salmon is no longer salmon.

[00:25:54] Lisa: It's chicken fish. Oh. Because she will eat anything that is made with [00:26:00] chicken. Yes. So just add chicken at the beginning. So it's chicken, fish, chicken at the beginning. That's smart. Another thing we figured out the chicken of the seed. If my mom eats it or her dad eats it, she'll eat it. But if I eat it, eat that.

[00:26:12] Lisa: I ain't eating this Uhuh. Okay, so Daddy's going to eat it. Oh, now it's okay. So he just. I mean, I mean, I know it sounds horrible, but when it's like parent, when you're parenting a spirited child, you don't want them to lose the ability for them to speak up for themselves. She can at three years old, she can tell me, I don't want to do this.

[00:26:30] Lisa: You know, and I'm just like, I want her to keep that or she doesn't like somebody or somebody giving her negative vibes and she like grabs onto my leg. I know right then, okay, my daughter is not feeling you for whatever reason she has innately decided that she's not feeling I'm not going to pressure her to be like, say hey to so and so.

[00:26:47] Lisa: Yeah, don't do that. She is grabbing my leg and she's like moving around me like a little mini tornado. I know she is uncomfortable. But those are the things I do mostly is I watch her. I, I read my books, I listen to my audio books, and that's [00:27:00] how I'm figuring, figuring out. I, I don't really like to how you say, jump in feet first.

[00:27:04] Lisa: I like to have a little bit of guidance. 

[00:27:07] Tamyia: Yeah, yeah. You read that guidebook. Reassurance. That's how I get my guidance. Assure me. 

[00:27:11] DJ And?: And this is what this podcast is about, y'all. This is what's so cool about talking to young mothers about, you know, Stuff that's going, because, I mean, so as Millennials, we don't have, we didn't have a guidebook to being an adult, right?

[00:27:21] DJ And?: Right. We never got proper tutelage from the generations before us in most of these things. And so we're trying to put it together because we're that, that, we're the connector between the analog and the digital world. And so we were basically thrown out there and said, y'all figure it out. They say, wow, well, we still, we got our PhD, we got our radios here, we chilling, we got our jobs.

[00:27:43] DJ And?: Matter of fact, our PhDs only cost 300, like they're from that generation. We got the generation where it's like, yo, everything's switching. Y'all figure out how to make it get to, because the, the world that our children are going to grow up in, they're going to be acclimated. We were never acclimated. 

[00:27:57] Lisa: I'm not going to lie to you.

[00:27:58] Lisa: I [00:28:00] kind of looked at her, her car seat and I was like, what am I supposed to do with you? See? She was just sleeping. And I was like. Like, I had no idea on how to keep her alive. Luckily, my husband, who is smarter than me in a lot of, in a lot of situations, he had called my mom. He had called my mom and was like, Lisa needs you.

[00:28:19] Lisa: And my mom, as soon, like not even five minutes after I got home, my mom knocked on the door was like, you need your mama. And she stayed every day. Yeah, I remember 

[00:28:27] DJ And?: that. Yeah, she stayed. She came. 

[00:28:28] Lisa: I had no idea. Y'all, I'm not kidding. Like, I didn't know how to breastfeed, but I knew I wanted to. Didn't know how to breastfeed.

[00:28:35] Lisa: I didn't know like With the diaper situation. I was like, I know how to change diapers on one year olds. What am I supposed to do with a one day old? How do I do this? The people at the back, I don't know what to do. I call, I call the hospital every day for a week. Cause I was like, can somebody come to my house?

[00:28:50] Lisa: Can I? 

[00:28:50] DJ And?: Can I get a home health agent? 

[00:28:52] Lisa: Some people, and 

[00:28:52] Cre: you know what? We never talk about that in parenting. Preach, preach. Like, different learning styles. Yeah. Me, I was a psych major. I'm always big on, I'm gonna [00:29:00] look this up. I'm going to research this, then I'm going to think about it, then I'm going to try it.

[00:29:03] Cre: So I'm always one of those people, it's funny because you're an event planner. So I, that's kind of how I got into event planning was, I, you just got to throw me into the fire, I'm going to figure it out. But, but when I'm thrown into the fire, I already have some baseline. But what happens when things don't go exactly?

[00:29:17] Cre: They don't tell you that when you read those blogs, they don't tell you that your child's going to flip over 50 times to figure it out. They don't tell you that. So it's, it can be a lot. And I'm so grateful that we live in this age of information because Some of these podcasts, some of these Instagram pages I follow, I don't always have time to read, but I'm immersing myself in these communities.

[00:29:35] Cre: So now I have constant access where everybody's, oh, social media is so negative. If whatever you say, I use that same picture. So they're gonna keep showing me that. So now I'm immersed in these, you know, these new, following these mental health people, these psychologists, these people that are like, okay, Here's some thoughts that we're having at this time.

[00:29:52] Cre: Do I take everything? Yes. Because sometimes, sometimes I'm not taking everything as a grain of salt. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, I am [00:30:00] taking things with a grain of salt. Like, okay, that's a seed planted. Let me come back to that. I may not be ready to receive that information yet. Or realizing like a lot of the parenting advice.

[00:30:10] Cre: is not centered for our children. You know what I mean? Y'all talking about the white experience, but we talk about the black experience where there's way more expectations on us to perform as mothers. In fact, I have a theory about, you know, Like the toddlers, when you in public, how people look at you because your child's crying or something, and they're looking like parents ain't doing nothing.

[00:30:34] Cre: It was like, no, it's not that we're not doing nothing. We, you know, when you are like us, where we're like, we understand child development, it's not this thing where you're trying to that you're the better parent. And I realized there's some parents who get frustrated in public and then they'll take it out on their kids because.

[00:30:51] Cre: Those people looking at them has put that pressure on them. 

[00:30:53] DJ And?: Good point. Oh, that's a good time. We're gonna have 

[00:30:56] Cre: to 

[00:30:57] Tamyia: run that back. That is a 

[00:30:58] DJ And?: good But that's not like what you, [00:31:00] what you all are both talking about. Like, like you're just saying, I'm not gonna tamper my child. And like you said, why am I gonna affect change the way I'm parenting?

[00:31:06] DJ And?: Because Of what you all, the pressure you're trying to put on me as a society, knowing that I'm dealing with a toddler, right? I'm dealing like, like a spirited child. And you, yeah, you're honoring the children. You're giving them a chance to be themselves. That's dope, man. That is dope. But, I guess we're towards the end.

[00:31:23] DJ And?: We're going to wrap up here. I didn't 

[00:31:25] Cre: get to give the podcast cause I kind of 

[00:31:27] DJ And?: know where it is. We're about to give it to you. Oh, the podcast, 

[00:31:29] Cre: the stuff that I listen to. Okay. So I'm going to, 

[00:31:33] DJ And?: I want to give you this information. So when we wrap up, of course, what we're going to do, we're gonna do our shameless promotions.

[00:31:37] DJ And?: So tell people what you got going on, who you are, where they can find you, etc. All that good stuff. And then also, any information that you want the audience to know or, or, or to understand. For instance, the information you need to drop for them, I want you to drop that as well. Okay. So I'm going to start over here with Lisa, and then we're going to finish with Cree since we started with Cree with Lisa.

[00:31:55] DJ And?: Go ahead, Lisa. 

[00:31:55] Lisa: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:31:58] Tamyia: Yeah. 

[00:31:59] Lisa: Well, of course, if anyone [00:32:00] wants to follow up with me, they can gladly reach me at hello at purple crane events. com. Or you can just, you know, reach out to you all at the hilltop considering that I am in, I have a relationship with both Kevin and Anwar, everybody knows 

[00:32:16] DJ And?: how 

[00:32:17] Lisa: to reach me. 

[00:32:18] DJ And?: Also, 

[00:32:21] Lisa: I have.

[00:32:22] Lisa: Also, Purple Crane Events is no longer doing weddings anymore. We have decided to move away from weddings. Weddings are 

[00:32:30] DJ And?: scary. 

[00:32:30] Lisa: They are not scary. Yeah, they are. They are just, that is no longer my ministry that I have decided at the moment. Oh my gosh, you made a church. However, at some point in time in life, I can probably go back to them.

[00:32:42] Lisa: Yeah. Yeah. But at this moment I am stepping away from them. So right now all I'm doing is social events. So milestone birthday parties for adults. You're talking about 30, 40, 50, retirement, you got a divorce party, I can do that for you. Divorce 

[00:32:56] DJ And?: parties are a thing now. 

[00:32:57] Lisa: Up to a certain amount of people who come in, I do that as [00:33:00] well.

[00:33:00] Lisa: Primarily on the East Coast. Yeah. So yeah. 

[00:33:03] DJ And?: Awesome, awesome. How about yourself, Cree? 

[00:33:05] Cre: So I'm currently in a space of trying to restructure business. Moving from this, doing everything as a community effort to, Hey, we need to structure this as a business. So in the meantime, I, I am still trying to figure that out.

[00:33:19] Cre: So I do have to rebuild a website and all that jazz, but I will be offering creative consulting and creative project management still. A bit staffing, a bit strategy, a bit planning and. All things marketing. So vibing with Cree on Instagram. My email is creespeaksmedia at Gmail. If you have any gigs or anything you want to see from me.

[00:33:41] Cre: And 

[00:33:42] DJ And?: what about that? What about that list? 

[00:33:44] Cre: Oh, I was talking about the continuing ed, like the podcast and stuff, like some podcasts and influences that helped me with in parenting conscious Lisa, destiny. And it's best B D E S T I N I. [00:34:00] Peaceful Parenting. Mr. Chaz, Mary Popping Edge. Mr. 

[00:34:04] DJ And?: Chaz is cool. I 

[00:34:04] Cre: love Mr.

[00:34:05] Cre: Chaz. Yeah. Mary Popping Ed. Calm Parenting Podcast. Good Moms Bad Choices podcast. So those are just, oh, and a book I think is really great. Tamika Isaac, dev Divine, who's running for Senator. Yeah. She has a book called Think Like A CEO, act Like A Mom, the Pursuit of Work Life Integration. I think it's a really good book for, 

[00:34:23] DJ And?: that's actually really on brand.

[00:34:25] DJ And?: Just 

[00:34:25] Cre: entrepreneurs. 

[00:34:26] DJ And?: Well. This is going to wrap up our Mother's Day episode of the Hilltop Podcast. We do these special episodes every year. We'll have a little Father's Day episode too to balance it out for the fellows out there. But we always want to honor our mothers man because without them we would not be here.

[00:34:41] DJ And?: So thank you. I wanna thank you to young ladies for joining us today. Young 

[00:34:45] Lisa: ladies, baby. I'm 

[00:34:46] DJ And?: young ladies for joining us here today. 

[00:34:49] Lisa: We gonna 

[00:34:50] DJ And?: clap you up. We wanna make sure we give y'all y'all flowers. Let 

[00:34:53] Tamyia: Yeah. They don't, they can't, 

[00:34:54] DJ And?: they can't even see y'all. Y'all are young ladies. And other than that, this is DJ and what 

[00:34:58] Tamyia: Tamaya, 

[00:34:59] DJ And?: and [00:35:00] then we also have.

[00:35:01] DJ And?: And 

[00:35:01] Tamyia: we 

[00:35:03] DJ And?: want to thank you from the Hilltop Glow podcast as always tell everybody please tell somebody next to him that you love him and you appreciate him and until the next episode, peace.