Introduction

SPEAKER_05 1:45

Good morning and everyone, and welcome to the Hill Talk Love Podcast. This is the second episode of season two, and we're excited to welcome our guest, Moroa Mosei. Did I say it right?

SPEAKER_01 1:56

You did, you did. I'm happy to be here. Thank you guys for having me.

SPEAKER_05 2:02

Thank you. Thank you. We always look forward to having a great conversation with our peers who are creatively making strides in their business and communities. So, how are you doing today?

SPEAKER_01 2:13

I'm doing great. How are you guys?

SPEAKER_05 2:16

Doing well. Oh, yeah, of course, my other co-host, you know, skip and uh DJ and what? How are you guys doing?

SPEAKER_03 2:25

So happy, it's a beautiful Sunday. The birds are chirping outside. The sun is up, and we're ready to roll.

SPEAKER_05 2:32

Girl, just give you guys a background about our guest. She's a Charleston-based visual artist and graphic designer. She describes herself as both Afrocentric and empowers women femininity, and she focuses on women of color. She's also a painter and she sells prints and handcrafted jewelry. So tell us a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Oh, okay. I'm gonna start off with that might be a little bit difficult just because I I I'm all over the place, I think. But at the heart of all of the things that I do, I am a creative. And I would just say it oozes out of every pore. And so anything I can get my hands on, I am finding a way to express myself through that, whether it be uh dance, whether it be my visual art through painting or graphic design, event curation. I like to call it curation because to me putting together an event is another form of expressing artistry. And what else? Even making my crafting, so making uh, which started with earrings, which is a whole a part of my hair journey, uh my love of earrings, but moving on to doing like indoor, like home decor items, uh coasters and things like that to make your house a home and more comfortable. So I would just say overall I am a creative. Oh, I even do some poetry, but overall I'm a creative and I love to express myself in any of the ways that God has gifted me the ability to do so.

SPEAKER_05 4:09

That's amazing. That's amazing. So you it says that you're actually living and working in Charleston, South Carolina? Yes. Okay. So what is that like? I mean, I'm from Charleston, South Carolina, but I definitely know it's a creative city and it's a lot of a lot of things going on. So tell us about your background and how did you get started

Start as Artist

SPEAKER_05 4:32

with that?

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Right. So gosh, I would say years ago, you know what? The thing that started me out sharing my artwork uh was uh a painting I did called Black The Presence of All Col All Colors. And this was back in college. It'd always been a painter, always been an artist, but I never really, you know, shared a bunch of my work on social media. I just it was something I did. It wasn't something I thought that was necessarily like, oh my God, this is the greatest thing since sliced bread. It was just like as easy as it was as, you know, casual to me as like breathing. Like, oh, I just, you know, this is something I do. But I posted Black the Presence of All Colors one day, and it just kind of had like a mini explosion on my small, you know, social media community. And everybody was like, oh my god, I didn't know you could do this. This is so amazing, you know. Wow, people were tagging people. Someone tagged um a celebrity, and I was just like, Oh, you guys, this is this is like this is a real you guys think this is something. And from that moment of sharing my artwork, I saw that sharing my art isn't just something to, you know, like it it means something to people. It can inspire people, it can affect people. And I now believe that sharing your gifts is is an opportunity, you know, and almost a responsibility. If you were gifted with a talent or something to share with the world, I feel like for me personally, I have a responsibility to use it to make this world a better place, more of a community to inspire others, you know, to share their gifts so that we can make a better world together. And then the thing that made me understand I could make money off of my artwork was I think about a year or so after I shared Black the Presence of All Colors on my social media, I stepped out on a limb and decided to travel to Charlotte to do like this natural hair expo or this, no, it wasn't a natural hair expo. It was like a black, some kind of Afrocentric, black-centered type, you know, convention. And it was at a college, I think somewhere in North Carolina. And I reached out to the guy and I was like, hey, do you have any more spots available? He was like, Yeah, sure, come up. You love my work. And I went up to Charlotte with no money. I rented a car with my credit card. Um, I didn't have any money to see.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

Yeah, that's how you gotta do it. Take a leap of faith.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

I had no money to even pay that back. Like, I had no money for food. I stayed at a friend's dorm, no money for anywhere to stay. I really didn't even have money for gas. I really didn't plan too well for that, actually. I remember before leaving, um, and my parents have always been super supportive, like throwing me in art programs and things like that. And it wasn't a doubting thing, it was they wanted me to have a secure future. And so my dad was like, Are you sure this is something you want to do? You know, because I've always said, Oh, I want to be an artist. No, my plan is to be artists. That's what I'm gonna do when I grow up, you know. That's what I'm gonna do. And my dad was like, Well, what about being a lawyer or a doctor? And I'm just like, oh God, I don't have the patience to sit down and do any of those things. And now I know why, but uh, I was like, I'm not even interested in any of that. And I was like, no, I'm gonna be a, I'm gonna be an artist. That's what's what I'm gonna do. And at the time when I said that, I did not know how many different ways God would allow my gift to make room for me. So saying that like years ago, like six or seven years ago, and looking back at that now, I'm just like, I am completely amazed at the ways that my my gift has manifested its way to make money for me. So, but back to the story. So he was like, you know, I was like, no, daddy, I'm gonna be an artist and this is gonna be fine. Don't worry about me. I'm good. I don't want to do anything else. I'm I'm ready to be broke if I have to to do what I believe in. And so I went up to Charlotte. I had a friend that came with me. I go to the convention thing, a setup, and I didn't really expect much. I didn't expect to sell anything. Uh, long story short, I went up there with nothing. I left with $600 and selling prints and artwork. Yeah. And at the time, yeah. At the time, that was, I mean, that's still a lot of money. But like, yeah, yeah. I was working four minimum wage jobs, you know. Oh, I'm I don't I'm not afraid of work. I was working four minimum wage jobs.

SPEAKER_03 9:19

That's what I like to hear. I like my mother. That made my day because people always like to talk trash about creatives, like we don't like to work. Yeah, we like to work. That's our issue. We be working for free a lot of times. So don't be playing like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

From being an after-school art teacher at what three different schools at one time to working in a boutique and working during the week full time at a daycare. Yeah, I I'm a hard worker. I have people who tell me I need to like chill out and rest all the time. But I I can't slow down. I don't think I know how to. As soon as I'm on vacation or have a break, I'm like, okay, what do I what do I do? How do I relax? But yeah, I left with $600. And that was a lot of money to me at that time. It still is now, but now I make that. I can sell one painting, or I can make that, you know, in a day now. But before, like, that's several checks to me. And so I made it home with being able to pay for that car rental, being able to buy my friends' food for coming with me. And I had a little bit of extra money after that. And I was like, okay, God, so I can do what I love and support myself off of it. And then my dad was like, he wasn't shocked, he was proud. He was like, okay, all right, you know, like, never mind. Yeah, yeah, like she's gonna be okay. And even before that, my parents have always been my biggest cheerleaders, but like

Family Support

SPEAKER_01 10:49

ever since that day, they're helping me with events, they're, you know, investing in me, whether it's money and time and energy, I mean, I can't even repay them for all of the work they've invested in me to support what I I do and love. And I think that's a really long answer to what you asked me, Tamaya.

SPEAKER_05 11:08

But I know that's amazing. That's a that's support is really what artists need the most. And it's definitely from your family. So the fact that they they decided they they decided together to support you. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

And I think it's to me, it was a beautiful moment because something that I dreamed and imagined, they believe and and dream and imagine it with me as much as I do, to the point where it's like, okay, this is not imagining anymore. This is tangible. I can feel it, I can touch it, I can see it. And they helped that uh be tangible with me because it's like something no one else can see, but they saw it with me.

SPEAKER_05 11:50

So, of course, you know, being a creative is like a blessing and a curse. And I just wanted to know as a full-time entrepreneur, entrepreneur representing yourself, how do you balance it all? Like, how do you, you know, do the work, but also, you know, market yourself, promote yourself, but also stay level-headed and create.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

I would say that I don't, I don't know, honestly. I just kind of do it. I know that there is stuff that needs to be sold, things need to be taken pictures of. I need to do social media content. Sometimes I bring people on to help me out. Uh so when I have my Black History Month programs, like the biggest one I had was at Charleston Stephon University, and I had to basically get volunteers, you know, people to do this, people to do that. I I'm an unorganized person, but when it comes to organizing things, I'm surprisingly organized. I don't even really understand it. Absolutely. But I just I get the things done, I know what needs to happen, and I have my mom to hold me accountable. She's kind of like my brain sometimes, but I don't know. I just keep moving. I really wouldn't know how to tell someone to do what I'm doing because I don't know if I know how to answer that right.

SPEAKER_03 13:07

Hey Maroa, how how did you this is all I so how did you get volunteers to help you with your event?

SPEAKER_01 13:15

I would say I can sell anybody anything. And and what it is is I have I have a mission with my my Black History Month programs or my my the so my friends, they're the ones helping me with like my smaller events, like the open night nights and things like that. They they are always with me. They're they help me with those things, and I try to pay them and they're like, no, just buy us food. And that's even when they've seen how much money I've made off of a night, and they're like, Yeah, just get us some food. So I buy it, I'll take them all out to dinner or something like that. But now for the the Black History Month programs, which end up being bigger, it's it's a process over several months. And so it's building relationships over time. And when it comes to getting people to volunteer with me who may not know me that well, but they're in love with like the vision that I have. I think it's my passion that people get attracted to when they believe in what I believe in. So when it comes to my Black History Month programs, what I'm trying to do is educate people on black culture, but include everybody in it. And that was really birthed from my experiences with racism, my experiences with social injustice, or what I see and feel from that that I hear from the community. And a lot of that, I went to Charleston Southern University, and that school, I don't feel like at the time, I don't know what it's like now, but at the time, I didn't feel like it really had a place for black people. Like I don't feel like there was a really it was uh our expression or our our us being there that it just wasn't expressed in the overall culture of the school. And the school had a significant population of black people, but it wasn't really reflected, I feel like, in in the events on campus or in the culture of the campus. And so I started hosting these Black History Month programs, really birthed out of that frustration and of being, you know, being unable to see that expression of black culture on campus. And and also, you know, we're in the South, and we gotta be real about it. There's a lot of there's still deep-seated racism that's rooted in the history and the culture and the stories here. And that was also something I was trying to combat. And so one of the my very first Black History Month program was called Wade in the Water. Another second one was called Black History Didn't, one of the things was like Black History does not begin with slavery. And like that was the tackle. And I advertised it all over the school. And I think after holding like about three or four annually, you know, I started in my church, New Victory Temple. The first one I went to my youth leader, I was like, hey, I want to have a black history in my program. And I had African American Society from the school uh volunteering, I had another club volunteering, and each year it just got bigger. And so by the time the school basically allowed me to hold it in the chapel, which is like hard to even book, more difficult if you're, I would say, a black organization on campus. And they let me book that and one of the other large buildings on campus. And I was running like a program, an event that was housed in two different buildings on campus that took place throughout the entire day. And I think that was like the best and the biggest one I had. Like they let me use what's the guys that control the lights and stuff. Like I had, I mean, it was just my mind was blown. Yeah. And I had one club who had the golf carts and they were helping people figure out where to go. I had, I think, the defense portion of the football team. I had like a bunch of guys from the football team who were unloading and helping the vendors unload and whatever. I had over, I think, 30 or 40 vendors. I had the North Charleston police come and do a panel with the students. Like it was it was a really big thing. There were different speakers. And the point of that is so there's like an entrepreneur type part of it, is like the Expo part of the Black History Month program. And then there's the main program that has performances and things. And the Expo is basically a platform for small businesses and people who are trying to start up stuff, and mostly black, but everyone like white people are included, everyone's a part of it, but we are uplifting black culture. And so I think when people saw, I mean, I'm a hard worker, I'm not trying to toot my own horn. Like I I put my blood, sweat, and tears into these programs each year. And so I've had six and they've gotten bigger and better with each one. I meet so many beautiful people, and I've had people try to convince me, you need to stop holding this for free. You know, you need to stop doing this for free and charge people to come to these. But I want it to be free. Like, I don't want anyone to have an excuse not to be able to experience the culture, not be able to bought this deep.

SPEAKER_03 18:07

Yeah, I want excuse, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

I want kids to be able to come and not have to ask for money. I want it to be an experience that you can walk into and take something away from. And and so I've never charged. And it's people who are close to me have seen like, I don't want to say damage, but the toll it takes on me each year to plan this. And of course, I have my mom who helps me. I have a team of people who help me. I usually try to get a team together. We have meetings, and everyone has like a job that's delegated to them. Cause in the first couple of ones, I was doing most of everything, and then like me and my mom were doing most of everything together or the church. It's grown and I needed more people to come on the team. But I've broken out in like rashes on my back from stress. Like, you know, I deal with anxiety and ADHD and getting overwhelmed. So I've definitely had like panic attacks or just like breakdowns, or you know, I'll go a whole day without eating. The days of the event, I have people who literally are, did you eat? Did you eat something yet? Like I am on go mode. Like I can't think of anything else except for what needs to happen next. And so, how do I get people to volunteer and do stuff for free? I think they just fall in love with what I'm trying to, like what's trying to be accomplished here, you know. I just want to spread the culture. I want everyone to be able to be a part of it. I think through understanding we can come together. And that's black, white, whatever. I've had white people say, I can come to this, like I can perform. And I was like, Yeah, come on. Yeah, come be a part of this, invite your friends and family. And every year I wonder, why do I put myself through this? And then there's always like that one person that comes to me and they make it all worth it. You know, there's people who've been able to start talk about their business through this platform, people make connections through this platform. Someone, I invited a girl to talk about a nonprofit that she has been planning. And then the church that I hosted, the Black History program that year, asked her to, they wanted to be the host of her nonprofit, you know, after seeing her talk about it on stage. And so, oh gosh, I feel like I'm talking too much.

SPEAKER_05 20:21

No, no, you're probably supposed to do. I haven't heard about any of this. So I'm all ears. Like, when's the next event?

SPEAKER_01 20:31

So I need to start planning the next one now. We didn't have one last year because of well, this what month is it? We didn't have one this year because of COVID. But usually I start planning like five months in advance and start reaching out to people and seeing, you know, who can be do what and this, that, and the other. But yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:53

Well, definitely keep us um, you know, posted on the information. We would love to, you know, share it and you know, let people, our people know, you know? Yeah, for sure. So go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Go ahead. One quick question. Um, are you originally from the Charleston area?

SPEAKER_01 21:11

No, I'm not. I'm a military kid. Well, military family. So literally, my brother, my sister, and I, we've all been, we were all born in different places. My dad's from Rochester, New York. I was born in Rochester. My mom is actually from the Caribbean Islands. So uh she was born in the Turks and Caicos, but grew up like in the Bahamas. My little sister was born here in South Carolina. She was born in Florence, and then my brother was born in Miami, Florida.

SPEAKER_03 21:39

Okay. Wow, okay, because I was wondering, because man, you are the way you're involved in the community, it's like it's easy for you to go out and meet new people and connect with them. And I was wondering why was that? That makes sense. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

Yeah. I don't know. I just, and believe it or not, as easily right now as I will walk up to a random person who I think might be interested in my artwork because I see like their hair, or they kind of glance at me for a little bit longer and they, you know, because I my hair is it makes a statement. It's it it just does. I've accepted it. It's like my brand now. But I will walk up to Stranger, like, hey, you know, I'm an artist. This is my work, check it out, blah blah blah. And I also do this, and my friends always laugh at me because no matter what and where where I'm at, I'm networking, like I always have cards on me. But I used to be painfully shy. Like I was so shy, I did not like making new friends because then that means I had to talk to new people. And so, like the only way I made friends was when someone who was outgoing and talkative came up to me and started talking to me. Like, uh I guess in high school I started running track and did sports and stuff, so that helped a lot. Then I got to college and I was like a completely different person.

SPEAKER_05 22:56

Okay, so your community and speaking of, you know, friends, do you have a community of African-American women that you seek information from or that you go to or that inspire you?

SPEAKER_01 23:10

I do. So of course of course I have like my my group of friends who throughout the years, especially in college, they're helping me throw these events, they're helping me um, you know, network and and do these things. And I love them because they never they never ask me for anything. And I would just they're literally working hard, you know, just as hard to to help make my things a success. But so I I appreciate and inspired by them. And then there's also my mom who I've watched my entire life work hard and be. A strong woman, strong black woman, and really inspired a lot of my creativity. She's a poet. But I've watched her put her dreams and and things on the back burner so she can support us and the family. And I see how hard she like works for me and helps me out with theme things. And you know, I work so hard just so like one day I can pay her back for that. So she can That's beautiful. You know, so I can give her just a small portion of what she's given me. So I'm super inspired by her. Like, you know, my mom went through all this. I can definitely do this. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:25

That's so nice of you. She's probably so proud of you.

SPEAKER_03 24:29

I know. Come on.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

You're gonna have to do a poetry piece for us, sir. Who, me or my mom? You. Oh me? Oh, no, but you know, you know.

SPEAKER_03 24:44

You want to give us a piece we can put it up. Yeah, you don't have to do it on the spot. It's like your freestyle battle now.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

I'm not the freestyler. My boyfriend is, but not me.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

Bring Rashad of it right now.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Come on, Rashad. Oh man. But yeah, I if I you guys want me to do a piece at the end, I can do that. That's no problem. I got poetry on my uh, I have it right here with me. I don't remember, I can't memorize anything. I'm not good at remembering anything, but I got it with me. Little quick short story. So

Growing Up With a Learning Disability

SPEAKER_01 25:15

I actually I went to Charleston Southern and I have not graduated yet because there's like I haven't been able to pass my the minimum requirement for math. And I would consider myself, you know, people speak to me. I've had professors telling me, you're smart, like you're really smart, you're brilliant. But for some reason, I have just never really been great at school, I guess. Like I love having the intellectual conversations, I love taking something, picking it apart. You know, I'm good at figuring out solutions to things. And I'm even, you know, I've been told I'm an avid writer. But when it comes to like assignments and getting things done on time, math especially, I just wasn't that great. And so for years, I've actually dealt with this feeling of inadequacy and this feeling of I actually thought I was stupid. Like I was just like, I gotta be, I have to be an idiot because everyone else is able to do these things that I just can't do, no matter how hard I try. And growing up, I've always felt like college, I need to graduate college to be successful. Even though I wanted to be an artist, I was like, college is the key. And I really wanted to graduate to make my parents proud. I was like, I know this, this is gonna make them proud of me. Like, this is gonna make them proud of me. And I just couldn't, and to this day I I haven't finished school. I do plan on going back, but a big part of that, you know, was my ADHD diagnosis. And I know uh Kevin, we spoke a little bit about that. And then also I just recently discovered I have a learning disability specific to math and math calculation, and so it's called dyscalcula. And based off of the testing, you know, the psychiatrist told me it will be extremely difficult, if not impossible, for you to pass an algebra college math course. And I was like, it was it was a mix of feelings, it was like a feeling of relief. I I did cry right there in her office because I've taken that math course, I think about six times. So if it I you because you can only take a course what like two or three times after you fail it. So I'm either withdrawing or failing the course. And then, or I'm trying to take another math course that's equal or lower. I've done the tutoring, I've done, I've sat with a professor, like I've I've really done everything I could, and it got so bad. Like before math tests, I'm sitting in my car having an anxiety attack, crying because I just know like there's no way, you know, staying up till 3 a.m. studying or getting the appropriate amount of sleep and studying the appropriate amount of time, you know, trying to take everyone's advice, and no matter what I did, still I've sat with the professor and we would go over questions and things right there. And I'd be like, okay, I get the formula. I'd sit down in front of a test, nothing get a test back. And it's just, yeah. And so when you mentioned, like, I bet your parents are proud of you. I I guess, and it's not, this is not their fault. But out of all the things I do because I do so much, I never, I guess, imagined that they were proud of me for that stuff because I thought they're, you know, I'm supposed to graduate and that's what they're gonna be proud of. Like I want them to be able to post. My daughter graduated, I want them to be able to throw me that party. And um, but I had that conversation with my parents, like, you know, I want, I thought this would make you guys proud of me. I wanted you guys to be proud of me. Sorry, I'm getting emotional.

SPEAKER_06 29:05

That's all right.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

And my mom was like, you know, my parents told me, we're proud of you. Like, you know, they look at me, and when I do another accomplishment, when I paint another mural, or I end up in like one of the city papers for something, and they're just, I can see how proud they are. I mean, and they tell me, my dad even took me aside one day. He's like, I'm so proud of you of everything that you're doing. And I feel like over the last couple of years, when they see like me hit a new milestone or I put something together and they hear me talk about my new ideas, and I literally like spit it out like word bomb, and I'm like, I have an idea, I want to do this. And they're like, you know, they kind of get a you know, it's like, oh God, what is it? But then they see it happen and I can see in their eyes they're almost amazed at it. And that's something I'm still kind of like processing now. Like, I don't need to be the typical standard of what it is, what it means to be successful. Right. Um, because I've kind of made my own way outside of education, even though I've gotten a lot of valuable things for it. And so, you know, like my confidence was low. I told I was feeling like this, that, and the other. But now that I have diagnosis, it helps me better to cope. Um, and it helps me know, like, you know, you're not stupid, you just have something that uh is um it makes things a little bit more difficult for you, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_05 30:31

That's amazing because I kind of am the same way. I'm not really good at math, but I'm also a creative. But what I try to do is uh think of numbers as paint. So like uh maybe a little bit of this color is like half. You see what I'm saying? And and that kind of helped me with um with my with my math because it is it is really hard. I think they say we use one part of our brain as a creative right side or the left side, one of those sides.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

But yeah, I'll use y'all right side, that's all.

SPEAKER_05 31:11

So just numbers are just really hard. Numbers, decimals, fractions, remembering formulas. Yeah. So I just think that's amazing that you're not the only one struggling with that and and for us to understand that it's okay, you know? Because growing up they don't they don't prepare you for that as a creative. I mean, there's a lot that they don't prepare you. There's a lot. This is really just trial and error and learning. That's how I'd said it's a blessing and a curse.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Yeah, I think that the whole school system, it really is, it's built to set you up in a box. And sometimes it's kind of hard to see outside. And then you have a lot of either creators, creatives, or people with, you know, autism or different kinds of disabilities, uh, learning disabilities, who for a while feel like they are, you know, they're not fitting into the box, but that they're stupid or inadequate. And that leads to, you know, a lot of self-confidence issues. And so me, like I've I even got held back in the fourth grade because I didn't pass the math requirements in elementary school. And I remember, yeah, I remember I remember the teacher I had back in the fourth grade. Her name was Miss Hill. She was this white lady with a sh with short brown hair cut into a bob. And she would literally like yell at me in front of the class when I didn't understand some math things. So like she just never had any patience. Yeah. She never had any patience with me. And so I remember I ended up failing math that year, and I was sitting on the floor in the classroom, and it was like the last day of school, and everybody had the report cards, and everybody was running around so excited and talking about the fifth grade. And I was just kind of sitting there like, you know, I failed and I'm not going to be with my friends. But then we moved, and my mom tried her hardest to get me all the, you know, like get me into the appropriate grade or something or extra help. But I think because of the state we were in, I don't remember exactly. It was the fourth grade. I don't remember everything exactly, but I I had to achieve the fourth grade. But it was at least I was at a new school, so nobody knew. And for the rest of my life, it's just been like, hey, you're a little bit older than us. Why is that?

SPEAKER_03 33:28

No, that's one of those weird things I always like to say. Like, unless you know and you have the ability and the agency to properly assist your child in that system, I try not to fault the parents because a lot of people don't know how to how to how to properly navigate that system. I know my dad had that same issue with our younger brother. He had the same issue, and it would have nothing to do with his ability to achieve, but the fact that they didn't know that this is what he was dealing with, and this is how you need to properly help him on his learning and his ability to be successful academically. Because it's two separate things, because like he's a creative, he can do all the creative stuff, but when it comes to sitting down and doing certain quote unwide, they like the labor left brain activities, you're gonna have a little bit of a disadvantage, but you can't sit there and give him punitive damage for that. You're supposed to actually reach out and properly assist them so that they can move along properly because right exactly. Yeah, if not, you create societal problems, and that's why it's cool seeing folks like yourself take those things and turn those into gems, actually, really take that cold, make it a diamond, because of course that's a lot of being under pressure, stress to do those things. The fact that you took it in such a positive direction is amazing. And that's why I I hope that like going for especially with our generation. This is why this show is about what it's about and who it's for, us being millennials. It's gonna be our chance to actually make these changes because we're about to be up on the reins and we'll be able to actually be the pa the people making these decisions in the future. And the fact that we have a better understanding emotionally. Yeah, we aren't scared. We aren't afraid to talk about these things, unlike generations past. We have more we're more adept or more more impetus for it too, because we've seen the the ills that come along with it. So I'm always very excited about the future and and seeing how those things change, especially since we understand it and what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

Oh, yeah, thank you. I would say I don't blame my parents. And so my mom actually has her degree in special needs, and she's been a special needs teacher when I was in elementary school. So, like we were actually, I think the second time I did fourth grade or something, I don't remember exactly when, but at some point we were at the same school and I'd go help her in her classroom at the end of the day. But I don't blame her because and I had a converse, I had a conversation with her. I had a conversation with her, and we talked about it. And fun fact, well, it's not fun, but my little sister, after I posted my ADHD video, my mom actually decided to get my little sister tested for ADHD. And turns out she has it. And then after talking to my brother about what's going on with me, he decided to go get tested. Turns out he has it too. And so we all have it. And my mom looking back, she said, you know, I I suspected something, but I didn't want you to go through school being labeled. And so as an educator, she knew what happens to kids or students who end up with that learning disability. Yeah, the stigma attached, the learning disability on their file or this on their file. And she didn't want that to happen to me. And so she suspected something, but you know, I think with life happening, you kind of just things just happen and you kind of just trying to make it and keep on going. And so I we had a conversation. I don't I don't blame her for anything. If anything, I believe that the teachers, there should have been some teacher, you know, along the way that recognized, you know, maybe this is not an Alex not paying attention or not trying hard enough. Maybe this is, and I think there's a lot of awareness about learning disabilities when it comes to like dyslexia, but when it comes to dyscalcula, that's not really something I think that people are looking for because everyone says, oh, everyone, you know, I'm bad at math. Everyone's not so good at math. And then also I think ADHD, there I found that there's a difference between, you know, ADHD is typically something you feel like is diagnosed with little boys rather than girls who have ADHD, and it manifests itself in a way that's not necessarily hyperactive, but more inattentive. And I read an article around the time I first got diagnosed that said girls with ADHD sometimes don't find out until they get to college. You know, typically those are the girls that get A's and B's in elementary school and and in middle school, and they're doing great in, you know, like high school. I was in AP classes in high school. And then they get to college and it's like, whoa, what what is going on?

SPEAKER_06 38:16

And um and uh leave me by yourself.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Yes, they leave you on your own. And I you women, a lot of women don't get diagnosed till later on in life. And I was like, oh, well, well, there you go.

SPEAKER_03 38:31

That makes sense, yeah. Well, to to to give a little, I guess, a directional switch, I know we must talk about this because this is something really cool. And this is how I actually first ran into you without knowing about you. Because I just moved from Charleston last summer. I moved uh back to Columbia, and I know I used to live on the east side, and I would walk around, go to all the different areas, and I would see all these cool murals. And I didn't know that you were doing those murals. I didn't know who you were, anything about none of that until I was uh doing research and actually doing my little stealth ninja stuff. But um community engagement through art is something that you take very seriously, as I can tell. But of course, you have your mural projects that you completed in Charleston or programs that you've been doing for Black History Month that we've talked about already. Could you explain how you become so involved within the community? I know we keep asking this because my thing is, especially with creative, and you were saying this earlier, you're really good at problem solving. And with some of the problems that we deal with in our communities, especially as people of color and black folks, we need very creative solutions because we've been trying certain things for 40, 50 years and they ain't been working.

SPEAKER_06 39:49

And it has to be a problem.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

And that's why I always love artists to come in because you guys put a fresh, a fresh spin on things. I always like to call myself a quasi-creative because I'm really left brain, but I like watching people use their right brain well. So,

Creative Community Engagement

SPEAKER_03 40:05

what advice or guidance would you give to other artists desiring to do the same thing who want to be creatives, but they also want to be able to give input and making their communities a more positive place?

SPEAKER_01 40:19

What I would say is I know people say this all the time, but networking and maybe maybe not call it networking, but relationship building. I think it takes a lot of that and it takes years, and you know, every opportunity you see to have a conversation with somebody that could be productive, do that. Even if it's just something that you something very small that you might have in common, because I can't tell you guys how many times someone who knows someone who met me three years ago reached out to me to do this, that, and the other. There's this one girl, I met her in the mall like two years ago, and I just liked her hair. So I just went up and started talking to her, and we had maybe like a five-minute conversation. I gave her my socials, and now this is two years ago. She reached out to me this year, she said she was getting married, and I live painted at her wedding, you know?

SPEAKER_02 41:12

Whoa. Yeah, and so it's pretty dope.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

It's weird stuff like that. Like there's this one woman who followed me. She said she's been following me for years, right? On social media. And then she reached out to me this year. She actually works for this national or what's what's half national? I don't know. On the East Coast, this organization that uh is called Supplier Diversity, and they actually connect larger corporations or suppliers with small businesses, and then they create this whole like networking thing, and they have this annual conference, and they wanted me to produce the artist piece that will be auctioned off at the annual conference. And she she reached out to me to she presented me to her boss, and they decided to go with me as the artist. And so I think it's it's small things like that, building small relationships. Now, when it comes to doing more in the community, I would say I got my start doing open mic nights off campus. Like I started with open mic nights because I was like, well, I already guys told you about Charleston Southern. I already told you about that. And so that was I start I was part of African American society. We had open mic nights on campus, but it was like we couldn't say everything that we wanted to say at the ones on campus. You know, yeah, it's a little bit censored. So I started hosting open mic nights off campus, and it was a platform for local artists. I had you holding those events at I started hosting them at the Purple Buffalo. And yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:49

I'd never even that makes sense. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

I had one that was so big, like the place was packed on the inside and like spread into the outside. People were trying to sneak in the back. But my my friends, my girlfriends, they were like, uh-uh, did you pay? And it was it was only like five dollars. I don't understand why people were trying to sneak in. But I I, you know, I had uh local artists, rappers, singers, people who came into town to perform. The list of people were so long performing, like people trying to perform, and I would kind of listen to everybody's music and stuff, be like, Yeah, I think you should do this song. I think this is the vibe, I think this will be, you know, the most successful. And a lot of people made a lot of connections through that. And so that's that's that's what's helped me with my networking is is creating platforms for people. And that's honestly, like, that's what I really want to do is create platforms for other creatives because I know in Charleston it is a creative place, but yes, you know, let's be honest, until recently, most most of the creativity was a little a little not black people getting opportunities to do things. And I think there you go.

SPEAKER_03 43:57

You don't have to be politically correct. Yep, it was whitewashed. It was whitewashed.

SPEAKER_01 44:01

I don't say the whitewashed blanco.

SPEAKER_03 44:04

Um like it wasn't wrong with it, but we knew what it was. Like it was extremely hard.

SPEAKER_01 44:10

But I had to do the same thing, like there's anything. And even now you still see a lot of that in the entertainment side of downtown and places to go and music that's happening, but like a lot of the the black people that are performing at my events, they couldn't get in to perform downtown. Like there's only a few places that the rappers here in Charleston or the some of the black music, they they want to type they like a certain yeah, yeah, yeah. They like a certain type of black music in Charleston, which is the old they want to hear the oldies over and over and over again. They don't want to hear them. So there's that, and then also platform for visual artists. You know, I have walked up and down somewhere downtown, walking in the galleries, showing them my work, and I've literally had people tell me, oh well, you know, this is not necessarily the kind of work that we're looking for right now. And um, you know, this doesn't really fit our something something. And you know, there are some black-owned galleries I know of two specifically, and they did reach out to me and I did go see them and things like that. So I'm not saying there's none, but I am saying, you know, why does it have to be this is black stuff, this is white stuff, da-da-da-da-da, you know. And uh when you want to have a broader range of people that you can get to. But let me reel myself in back to my point. So I got my start with open mic nights and and hosting events, and I think that's how I really built my community, but it's really a platform. But I would say for any other creative out there, definitely build relationships with people and Don't be afraid to do weird stuff. Like I have I've had a pocket of business cards and walked around with like some pictures of my artwork just showing it to people. I've walked up to strangers who look like they might know something and just been like, hey, you know, would you be interested in looking at my artwork? I've walked into buildings, businesses, and I look around. It looks like you need some artwork on your walls. Are you interested in any murals? And and that's I mean, like, just don't be afraid to do stuff like that. I I don't, yeah. So yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:22

And I did I guess this is continuing in the same vein, but uh, of course, being an artist, it can be difficult from an entrepreneurial perspective. Sales can be sporadic and come in waves, and as a result, artists often seek to generate regular streams of income through commissions. On your site, you mentioned being commissioned to complete projects with the city of Charleston, of course. And uh, for those who aren't

Artist Commissions

SPEAKER_03 46:43

familiar, could you define what a commission is and how artists go about obtaining them? And also what tips would you suggest to fellow black artists pursuing commission projects?

SPEAKER_01 46:53

Gotcha. All right. So, first, if you're looking to do commission work, I would say make sure you have a contract, make sure you have everything set up nicely. I would say have proposals prepared. So, like if you want to do like for me, when I do murals, I'll I have like I'll go talk to the client and then I'll create a proposal for them, you know. And on it, it's like, what are the benefits of having a mural? This, that, and the other. But I would say have a contract if you're working with businesses and things like that. Now, you mentioned that I work with the city of Charleston. That actually came from my open mic nights. And so I actually have been getting commissioned for the past like this year included, three years to host. So Charleston has a free verse festival. And the poet laureate, I hope I said that right, is Marcus Amiker.

SPEAKER_06 47:45

And Marcus.

SPEAKER_01 47:47

Yes, yes. So he actually reached out to me three years ago to host one of the events for the City of Charleston's free verse festival. So it's like a month-long poetry just extravaganza. And that's how that happened the first time. And it was really cool because I got to host an event that were where I didn't have all the resources I had before. I had City of Charleston resources. So it was really cool to put something together, you know, that had a black people vibe that really uplifted black culture and not have to worry about where I'm pulling money from. We the location was donated or included or somehow, I don't know. I don't want to speak on how the location was got, but it was a beautiful location downtown. And I brought in, you know, the DJ I like to use. I brought in these really cool like neon lights and stuff, and I called it the kickback. And I was like an open mic to open minds, and it was it was such a success that he was like, he asked me to do the the next one, which was last year, except we had to do it virtually because of COVID. But now I'm planning this one this year, which is on the 1st of October, and it's gonna be Doc Street.

SPEAKER_06 49:02

Oh, we're gonna go to the Kickback.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

Yeah, an open mic to open minds, and it's a beautiful venue in the courtyard at Doc Street Theater, right off of Queen Street downtown. And it's and um, so yeah, that's that's real. I'm excited, it's cool, and I can't help but think like, look at me, you know, this girl that's about to really black up this white space.

SPEAKER_03 49:29

That area ain't supposed to have blackity black people out there, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 49:33

And I feel like what's been happening lately is I have been blacking up some spaces that have been, you know, looking real white.

SPEAKER_06 49:43

Bravo.

SPEAKER_01 49:44

I don't know how else to say it, but every time I get into a space, you know, when you walk into like a restaurant or a store, especially sometimes downtown, you walk in and you just like, you know, yeah, I am the only black person in here. Yeah, bringing all the flavor. Right. You know, they kind of start looking at you like, well, what are you doing here? And like, yeah, I don't know what I'm doing here.

SPEAKER_03 50:07

Trying to see what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 50:09

I think if you have an idea as a creative and an artist, do it, you know, even if you gotta start small, because people are watching you and they see how hard you work and they see what you're doing, and those opportunities will start coming to you. Now, as someone who wants to get consistent commissions overly consistently, I'm still working on that, so I don't really have an answer, but keep putting yourself out there because you don't know who is gonna see you. You don't know who people know or what resources they have to help you become more successful. So I would say my sales on my website are not as consistent as I would like them to be. But what I try to do is, you know, I keep posting on social media, I keep trying to build hype around what I'm doing, showing, oh, look, I'm painting this, I'm painting that. I just had a print sale, a $28 print sale, um, inspired by Whitney Austin, an artist in Charlotte. And I invested in this printer that ended up costing me over a thousand dollars, but I made that back double, you know? And so invest in yourself, promote yourself, believe in yourself, if even if everybody else thinks you're crazy. That could be your your slogan right there.

SPEAKER_03 51:18

I know, right?

SPEAKER_01 51:19

I know I'm gonna have to listen back because I already don't remember what I just said.

SPEAKER_05 51:28

So, like you said you've done some um murals in Charleston. Like, what where at like what areas? Because I would love to check them out.

SPEAKER_01 51:36

So I want to shout out uh Metanoia. They actually, I think it's it's I work for them. That's the job I've been working on. I work for them currently just transition apart-time to pursue my businesses outside of my job. And so my work is minimized to just graphic design, which I love because that's what I went to school for. But I love them because three years ago, maybe three or four, I don't know. When I started working with them, they actually brought me on as a partner to teach art class in their after-school program. So I think I did that for about two or three years. And through them, I did two mirror part projects. One is on Reynolds Avenue, another one is on the shed that's by the church that they have their offices in, and the kids actually participated in painting that one. And then from there, I came on their team as their uh social media, well, marketing social media graphic designer person. So I've been doing that for the past two years, but now I'm just graphic design, which is great. It frees up more of my mental energy and time now that I'm part-time with them, which is a step towards my uh goal of working for myself. And from there, you know, they're they're definitely a great, they were a great way for me to network because they're a nonprofit. They work on holistically developing, you know, an area that's been previously described as impoverished. We call it underfunded, but they would call it, you know, impoverished area. And definitely learned a lot from my experience with Metanoia. But from there, I I think it wasn't them that necessarily got me connected, but through some other things. Someone, there was a nonprofit looking for an artist to paint a mural during, I like to call it Freedom Summer. I don't know if that's something everyone's calling it, but last year when all the protests and the marches and everything was going on, they were looking, it's a nonprofit called Just V U. And they were looking for an artist to paint a mural to kind of, I guess, represent the feelings of all of the things that were going on. And they found a host, uh, like a home for the mural, Edmund Zose. They volunteered to be the host. And um, they found me because somebody said my name somewhere that I was when people say your name when you're not in the room, I like I'm about to shout, like, it's beautiful thing when your name is said in a room that you are not in.

SPEAKER_03 54:06

And anyway, it's positive too.

SPEAKER_01 54:08

And it's positive, you know. People saying your name in rooms that you you can't even get into. I think that's that's the sermon right there. But somebody said my name and they looked me up and found me, and I was the artist for them. And that's how that happened. And from there, like that was a huge platform for me because that was in, I think that was in the Post and Courier, that was in the Charleston City Paper. And then another nonprofit, Enough Pie, reached out to me to do, I did one of the columns underneath the bridge off of Morrison, getting onto the interstate. So I did one of those. So total, I have four murals. I have two mural contract tracks that I'm working on. I'm trying to get, you know, another two under my belt, but I'm open to do more because this girl is trying to, you know, trying to make some money.

SPEAKER_05 54:59

That's amazing. That's amazing. Seriously, because being the artist is and a creative is kind of it's a gamble. Yeah. It's like you're gambling with your life, your ideas, your own thoughts, your livelihood, your money.

SPEAKER_01 55:14

Right.

SPEAKER_03 55:18

That's it. Oh, Kevin, she said, she said, she said the livelihood and the money, Kevin.

SPEAKER_01 55:23

A funny story, really quick. So I told y'all I got my printer. It's a large format printer. Um, so instead of going to Office Depot or doing like a third party, I can print all my things at home, which makes it true. Yeah. But I literally made the decision like in 15 minutes. Like I was on Instagram. There's this girl I follow. Her name is Tyra Powers, and she was just giving advice. She does the same thing. She's an artist like Whitney Austin. They got their own format printers and they print their own prints, and so it cuts the cost down too. And I was looking and she was like, Yeah, you know, you got to get this kind of printer. This is a good investment. There was a small one for like 700. There was a bigger one that ends up, you know, being like around a thousand in total. And then I was just like, man, now I just scroll and I was like, you know what? Let me just go look it up to see how much it costs. I found one on Amazon and then I was like, hey, mom, I'm thinking about getting this printer. I show it to her. And she's like, okay, all right, that's, you know, well, you know how much that costs, right? And it was like around a thousand or something. It the total is gonna be over a thousand dollars. And I was like, Yeah, yeah. She was like, okay, well, just think about it. And I was like, okay. So I sit back down, I thought about it for about five minutes, and then I bought it.

SPEAKER_03 56:43

You want to do it big, you gotta if you want to do it the right way, you gotta spend that money, like especially for for blacknesses.

SPEAKER_01 56:50

I'm very impulsive. And so, like, I I went, you know, and I sat down and then I showed my mom was like, Mom, I bought it. And she was like, What? I was like, Yeah, I bought it. She's like, I thought you were gonna think about it. I was like, I did. She said, I thought you were gonna wait like a couple of days, or not, not right now.

SPEAKER_05 57:08

Like the way my brain works, that was all the thinking I needed.

SPEAKER_03 57:11

Yeah, that was the best done one time. No, but that's a that's a good point. What what you did though is important because I would I listen to a lot of podcasts and just understanding how to properly do them, invest in time and stuff. And one thing I listened to that I that I get from the podcast I listen to is the fact of investing in yourself. So it's better that you spent that money that way as opposed to just going out and getting something to eat over the course of 10 days spending a thousand dollars rather than you because because what you did with that spending, and kind of we always talk about this is this requirement economics and building business. What a lot of black people don't understand is you have to spend real money to get real product to produce real quality results. Exactly. If not, you can't do it off of a off of a dream and a wish. You gotta actually have the gear. And so what once we do it, especially as black creatives, entrepreneurs, etc., it brings up our cachet. And my man Claude Anderson was talking about this, Kevin. You know, he was talking about black people cleaning up their businesses, getting their stuff to be professional and sharp, and making sure that we cater to our communities in a strong way so that we can create positive business experiences with each other. So we know when we want something, I need an event done, I'm gonna go to Moroa. Why? Because she has all the professional stuff. I know I can trust that the quality is gonna be good, that the result that I gonna get is gonna be amazing for everybody who attends. And that's what we try to do with running this podcast. We try to run it in a very professional way, do everything on point as best as we can because we want to create good product. And how would they say it? We want to get good confidence in our community so that they continue to come back. So exactly. Gotta spend that money.

SPEAKER_01 58:57

Definitely. Two things. One, I think branding is very, very important. If you are a black-owned business, you want to have your branding on point. You want to have a website, you want to have your social media. I know everyone's not a social media person. Find somebody who is so you can have some social media. Um, and you want to post and and show people what you're doing. Right now, because of COVID, we have transitioned into this age of we were already on social media, but like now it's like you have to promote your business online, especially if you're a small startup. And I've had people order my stuff from DC, Barbados. I've had people order my stuff from places I haven't even been yet because they're seeing they're seeing my stuff online. Second, what what restaurants are people going to where they're spending a thousand dollars over 10 days?

SPEAKER_03 59:46

Hey man, I used to work at one, so I'm telling you, I've seen this in real life.

SPEAKER_06 59:53

I'm just like, what?

SPEAKER_03 59:55

Like, it'll just be two people, $250 tab, two people for light lunch, maybe an early dinner before they go out to Western. And they come back like every I'm like, dang, y'all come back every two to three days. This is working with Charles and being in that food and bed scene. I I got to see that spending of money and seeing how people use that income. And I'm like, well, you know, if they can do that, I can invest in myself.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:15

Yes, that's exactly what I think. Those people sound like they need some artwork. If you're gonna eat like that, it sounds like you need some artwork on your wall too. Right, right. Anyway, I also want to let you guys know before I forget, I just designed my first beer can logo. It's for a local um woman's fly black beer brewer and the release of the like you gotta send us that information so we can promote them. I designed the logo and then I've also designed the uh the illustration that's gonna wrap around the can. I don't think you guys have ever seen a beer can that looks like this. I don't even drink beer, but I'm gonna buy like five cans.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:53

That's what I was about to say. Seriously, I don't drink beer either anymore, but I will go ahead and get it.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:58

But she has an amazing story. Her partner with with doing the launch, they really want to bring crafting and beer crafting into the black community. And so they wanted uh a black artist, illustrator, and uh graphic designer to design the can, which was me. Hello. And um the release is on October the 1st with the final design. So I'll probably send that to you guys so you can see it because I'm super excited about it. But got that under my belt.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:25

Hey, hey, nothing wrong with that. And those and actually to be honest with you, we would definitely love to even interview them too, have them on.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:35

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:36

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:37

I'll definitely make that connection. I'll let her know, and then I'll group y'all in an email together.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:42

Awesome, awesome. When I was doing the research on from your site and your links, I saw that you had some discussion. You had a video, well, actually two videos, about just your experience with learning about your diagnosis of ADHD and your journey with, you know, just like addressing it and then just how it felt one, you know, once you started kind of working, like getting treatment and stuff like that. And I thought it was interesting because recently I was actually diagnosed with ADHD. So that was something that kind of drew me a little more to you and just wanting to have this conversation as a whole. But if you could, could you explain how you know adult ADHD has

Adult ADHD

SPEAKER_02 1:02:26

affected you? Of course, we know from the school side, but how has it affected you just like professionally and creatively and even in your personal life?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:34

Yeah, definitely. Oh gosh. It's yeah. All right, so I'll start with I will start with professionally. Let me preface this with I almost got fired. And I can say that so I was diagnosed in 2016 because school was so difficult, I was just like, something, something else has to be going on here. So which was when I was in college. I went and got diagnosed and I was like, okay, I have the diagnosis, so I'm good now. I don't think I want to do medication, I'm scared of that, and uh I'm just gonna go ahead and cope. No, that didn't work. It didn't work for me, it might work for other people, it just didn't work for me. And so, you know, like you guys know, I ended up not being able to finish school. But going on to working in my professional life, like I said before, I started off as an art teacher in their after-school program and at Metanoia, and I was just like, okay, this, you know, it's art. I love it. So, and I love working with kids. I actually spent what, eight years as an early childcare provider. Yeah, so I love children, I love art, two things I love. It's hard work, but it's hands-on, you know, it's take care of the children, make sure they're safe, you know, and then do the art things, teach them the art, you know, help them grow and learn. And that wasn't difficult for me. What was difficult was my supervisor asking me for, you know, I need an outline from you, which turned out to be a good one. She ended up using it to show other, using it as an example for the other partners when they send in their outlines. But like, I think I turned it in late, and it took me a while to get it done. I I think I've turned everything late in in my life, honestly, and been late for everything. And but that that was like my only issue, like getting to work on time sometimes or turning things like even with school, I'd be late for school, I'd be late for my classes. So, in order to be on time for things, I would get there the an hour ahead of the time that I need to be there and then just go back to sleep in my car until I needed to walk in the class. That's how bad I was with time and look, was am. But then when I trans in transitioned into working in the office as the marketing person, it was like a whole new world. And everybody was speaking Spanish to me, and I just did not understand it. And I hear you, you know, first it took me a while to get my footing, just kind of working in a corporate environment. And the thing was, I was good at the things, but like the other things, like time management, organization, remembering to be somewhere on time, remembering to follow up with this, remembering to do this thing that I told someone to do that I was gonna do. I it almost sounds like irresponsibility. I've had people tell me, you need to do this, you need to get here on time. You just need to set an alarm, you just need to make a reminder, you just need to write out a list, you list, list, list, just write a list. And it's like I I write the list, I lose the list. You know, I I add a timer or I forget to do a timer, or I'll just turn off the timer, forget why I set the timer, or I'll put the list in my phone, I forget to look at the list because I'm already thinking about other things that I need to do. These are not excuses, these are just things that happened. And it got to a point where this the point was actually earlier this year where I just knew I am not being as productive as they need me to be. And I felt like, you know, because they'd already had conversations with me. Alex, you said you'd respond to my email last week, or you said you would send this last week, or you told me this will be done by this time. How come it's not done? You know, we need to do this by this, or I'd be making careless mistakes all the time and in typos and things, like, you know, Alex, did you read this through this properly? Um, did you check this? Did you do spell and grammar check on this? And I'm just like, I thought I did. Like I looked over it like a hundred times. And I know it could sound like a lot of excuses, and the difference between ADHD and being forgetful is it it h it hinders your life. It's enough of the forgetfulness and the lateness to be a point where it's literally hindering your life and your gosh, what am I saying? It it just it's it's such a obviously it's like a handicap, you know? And and so it got to that point, and and uh along with that, and this is how you guys know, like, oh, I'm not just being lazy or whatever, I would get so disappointed in myself. Someone would say, Hey, Alex, you know, you were supposed to email me about this, or Alex, you're supposed to be here right now. Why aren't you here? And I would be so mad at myself and disappointed because I'm like, oh my God, I just I knew I wrote that down somewhere. I knew I made a list, I knew I did this, I knew I set up things so that I could be prepared for this, and I wasn't. And as someone with ADHD, you learn a lot how to improvise on the spot. I can't tell you guys how many times, like I've completely forgot something, and I was supposed to be somewhere or do something, and I do something like right then and there, and people think, oh my gosh, this is just So great. This is amazing. And I'm like, wow, like, what if I actually did this ahead of time and took the time? How good could it have been? I did that all through school. Like, I've been doing that my whole life. Like, okay, I need to get up and and and write something or perform something. And it's like, okay, uh, all right, I'm gonna do this on the spot. I used to teach Sunday school, and in my in my church, once they they were like, okay, we need you to preach a sermon on uh fourth Sunday because nobody else can do it. And I was like, What? And so I literally I wrote something like in the hour before I was supposed to get up and do it. And they were like, Oh my god, this is so good. I was like, wow, what if I took my time and studied for this? So like I do that all the time. But anyway, um, so it was to that point, and I'm and I'm having panic attacks, I'm having anxiety attacks. I'm getting off of meetings with my boss after he's like, you know, I needed this from you, I need this from you, I needed this from you. I will literally work eight hours and feel like I've gotten nothing accomplished. And um, you know, having breakdowns because I'm just so upset with myself and so disappointed, and I'm like, I'm trying so hard, I just don't get why I can't do it. And so that was like in January, and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna go see a doctor, I'm gonna go look into medication. Like, I'm a grown-up, I gotta be able to do grown-up things. I have to adult, I need money. So I'm I'll take the medication. Hopefully, it doesn't kill me or anything. And yeah. Okay, so that's professionally. Friendship-wise, relationship-wise, sometimes it seems like I'm not paying attention to people. Someone could be talking to my face and I don't hear what they said. I have to try really hard to focus on what people are saying sometimes, and not because I don't want to listen, but because it's like sometimes I just don't even hear what you're saying. Like I see your mouth moving, but I don't hear what you're saying. I know I get really irritated when I'm focused on something. I get hyper-focused on things that I'm interested in. And then as soon as I get interrupted, it takes me like so long to get back focused, I get irritated with people. So sometimes I might be snappy with like my friend or my roommate or my boyfriend when he interrupts me, or it might come off as rude because I really don't want to talk because I'm trying to do something. And then forgetfulness. Once I forgot my best friend's whole birthday, and she was so mad at me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's my best friend, and I forgot her whole birthday. But ever since then, like I wrote it on my wall. So every year I would see this is her birthday. I forget dates, I forget, I just forget a lot of things, and it can come off as that Alex doesn't care enough to remember, but it really the information just leaves my brain. And uh, so I try really hard to make sure I don't forget important days for people who are important to me. But my mom, she could probably best tell you like, she'll ask me to do something my whole life. Did you do this? Like, I forgot. Did you do this? I forgot, you know you need to do this. Did you email this person back? Uh yeah, you were supposed to talk this person yesterday, man. Okay, I'll do it right now. And then I don't do it because I was doing something else and I forgot to do it. And and so she's constantly reminding me of things. So it's like typically people with ADHD sometimes can come off as rude or snappy or like they don't really care or inconsiderate. I've had people call me inconsiderate. I haven't had I've had friends who decided not to be my friend because they felt like I was inconsiderate. And it's really a lot of we're so focused on the thing that we don't think about all the other things around that thing, whether it's asking someone nicely or being polite or saying please or thank you or letting you know ahead of time or watching our tone or including you or whatever. And it's because we get very one-track minded. And so that definitely has affected, you know, my friendships in a negative way sometimes. And so now I tell people, you know, if I come off as rude, please tell me because I may not realize it. You know, give me some grace in this area because this is what I have going on. And so if I do this or say this to you or whatever, let me know so I can make sure I make that right. Okay, creatively.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:00

I would say creatively.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:06

I don't know. If you guys are around me in person, even when I'm in work meetings, I'll have an idea and I literally just blurt it out. I'm like, oh my God, I had an idea. Okay, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it comes out like word moments, like my brain is moving faster than my mouth can move. And I'm like, I get so excited like in the moment. But it's like, that's with any emotion. Like it hits me. Like, I'm on 10. Like, if I'm angry, that's a hundred percent angry. If I'm happy, I am like bouncing off the walls. If I'm excited, like you know it. If I'm sad, I am listening to sad music, eating a bag of hot Cheetos and ice cream and all of that stuff. Like, I am sad. And so I I feel emotions like super intensely. My boyfriend, he's like, you just feel, you just feel so much. And I think it's a mix of me being an artist and also a mix of like regulating my emotions sometimes. And so I have I have practices that help me not blow up on people when I feel like they're being stupid and they make me angry because I'm gonna yell at them. So instead I just walk away. Um, so it's creatively, it's I mean, everything I just everything just comes out. I can't hold it in. So when I have an idea, like, boom, like everyone's gonna know about it. You're gonna know how excited I am. It's funny because like in meetings with my boss, they're like, okay, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, how should we do this? Oh, I have an idea. Okay, wait, I'm sorry. Let me calm down. But this is it.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:43

Okay, those are the answers to the question. That's amazing. So,

Current Projects

SPEAKER_05 1:13:49

do you have any other current projects that you would like to let us know more about?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:54

There's the beer can thing. I I do have a lot of things in the mix right now. I'm I'm working on two potential mural contracts, but they both happen to be with happen to be with coffee shops. So I hope those ones come through. Yeah. And then the free verse festival thing, that's a big one. And then I also have a few like crafter events that I'll be doing over the next couple of months. And then some kind of artists to, you know, it's a lot. I just honestly I don't remember the exact things, but there's things, and I think I told you guys the biggest things.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:25

Oh well, you can definitely follow up with you when you have a diverse portfolio. Like that's I'm telling you. Like, congratulations on that.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:34

Thank you as a thank you. I I always used to think like I really need to focus on one thing, but then I'm just like, I'm so good at so many different things. Why?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:45

That's your superpower.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:47

Use your superpower.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:48

And you're you're excelling in every area, so that's what I like. You know, you're you're just really just taking control of your life.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:57

Guys, make me sound so cool.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:59

You are cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:00

You are cool. We can't tell. We can't create something that's not there.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:05

You know your profile was like, oh yeah, this shoe is real cool. Like, I have to get to know her. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:13

So, um, where can everybody find you on social media and everything like that?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:18

All right, so hi everybody. You guys can find me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, Snapchat. I don't follow my Snapchat, I don't really use it. But M-O-R-O-W-A-M-O-S-A-I. And it's all the same thing. And if you want to hit my website and get to all those things, it's www.m-o-r-o-w-a-m-o-sa-i dot com. Oh, and there's my YouTube too. I try to blog. This blog, it's there. And you can catch my ADHD videos there.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:52

Hey. I like how easy your stuff is. It's uh it's really easy to get, so you can't mess it up.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:59

Thank you. It's it's all one thing. The most difficulty you'll have is the spelling. And that's another tip for entrepreneurs or black business owners. Keep it simple so people can find you. Keep everything the same.

unknown 1:16:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:11

True. True story.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:14

Well, thank you so much for doing this episode with us. We definitely enjoy speaking with you. Thank you guys for having me. I hope I didn't talk too much. No, no, no. You were happy. You are pulled.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:25

Well, excellent.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:28

And we we actually have a lot of creatives that follow us. So I'm I'm pretty sure that they're gonna enjoy this one. Cool. I enjoyed myself. Uh Skip and uh DJ and what you guys got anything else you want to say?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:43

Man, this is an excellent uh conversation. Like I said, we we always look for these type of conversations where we get to talk to people who are creatives, who are actively being entrepreneurs because the the information that we can get from you about how you're doing certain things, how you're surviving out here, how to actually best business practices too. I know a lot of people listen to the show for that so they can see what's going on because it's always nice to see somebody do it before you do if you don't know how. So you can learn from mistakes, try to do the best things and make it work out. And I know this is again, I will state this again, the main reason for this podcast. Um, try to help millennials when we're adulting. And I like that you you even used the word adulting in the conversation today, which is right on right on mark. But yeah, we want to make sure that as we get through this adulting process, we have some kind of assistance because I always tease that I wish that the older generations would have sat down and just like gave us some real good game instead of just like taking the whole ball and running away with it. So right now we're trying to learn how to give ourselves game because there's not going to be any excuse moving into the future because we want to make sure that we we, I guess, that we iron out any of those wrinkles so that we can have a better future. And this is one way we do it, man, is by educating each other. So excellent conversation today. I know it made me excited, and it's Sunday, so we got some we got to get some good sermon in how we do what we need to do, and so we can move into this week and be successful, business folk and adults. You know what I mean? Anything for you, Skip?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:16

Yeah, um, I think y'all both um hit on everything I was gonna say. I just think um the goal of it is just for us the conversations to be fun and then for them to be educational. And you are amazing guests because you um you definitely brought the fun, but you brought the education part to it as well. And a lot of people who do listen to our podcast, they're they're looking for what's just some tips or what are some ways I can better, you know, go about my business, whether or not it's more creative or maybe in another direction, but what kind of inspiration or motivation I can get from listening to this episode? And like I said, you are on the money with everything. And we appreciate you, you know, you taking out the time to speak with us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:01

Thank y'all. Thank you guys so much. Would you guys like me to still share a poem or not?

SPEAKER_06 1:19:06

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:08

Okay. Excuse me, I haven't performed anything in a while. So I wrote this in 2020. This was around all of the social unrest and things, and uh I actually did uh a collection of artwork based off of this poem. Nochnead, pretty light brown skin, my sister is twelve, vines curl down her little curves, racially profiled at a pool. Now that's hell. Tell me that my little one, with her smile that rises like the sun, does not possess the humanity to have a gate held open for her, the femininity to be treated like a lady. Tell me that there's no beauty in the crowd that never stutters, flows rhythmically on the beatbox heavy lips putter, rhyming in time and flowing unsupposed to the beat of the ancestors' drums embedded in the bass, phonetics that pour like water from public enemy number one. From the hips of woman scorned a son, tell me that no one hates her, unloved by even her own, from which she borrowed a bone, picked apart from her smooth cocoa skin to the tangle of weeds that mold the crown on her head. Her screaming voice only falls on the dead. Tell me she isn't strong where the weight of the world sits on her hips. The stigma of anger and attitude rocks on her shoulders, her lips are picked, her ass is poked, and above this all, she is expected to float. Tell me that black isn't beautiful. Tell me it's the color of a stain, a stain so pertinent that no amount of whitewashing can bleach it out. Tell me that black isn't deaf and hold it up to the men in blue as they aim. Tell me that black isn't dumb and read it to all the underfunded staff, underfunded and understaffed schools in our neighborhoods. Tell me that black isn't gentle, like shea butter. Rub it on the wrists that cuffs chafe, on the innocent, on the activists, the accused, the used, the bruised, the underserved, the forgotten, the drug, the druggy, the degenerate. Tell me that black isn't gifted. Sing it to the culture vultures and the appropriators. But when black does it, it's not appropriate. Tell me that black lives in a bucket, pinching and pulling like crabs as we try to claw our way out. Tell me that black isn't religious, it's spiritual. On the backs of slaves, Negro spirituals raise, the hum of we shall overcome buzzes like these, disrupted by the radio frequencies of systematic oppression. Healed only by victory or violence. Black is the foot stomp and hand clap and rhythm to symbols. It's the opposite of silence. It's the buildup of anger and frustration to fighting. It's the fear for our children, the fear of cops. The idea that we've made it someplace when we are in a white space lets us know now that our minds are not in the right place. Measuring the leveling of success to the color palette of white. Maybe it's time that we've adjusted our view and had clearer sight. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:56

Oh man, that's all talking about. I say, I say.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:00

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:04

Man, that's a good way to end the episode. That was almost like having a benediction. Oh man. Man. Draws some bombs on there, on the edge, on the what's in Kev on the edit. Put some bombs in there. But uh man, that was excellent, Anna. I mean, I guess I'll go ahead and and and and lead us out, but I want to thank the audience for joining us today. I want to thank our guests for joining us. I want to thank Skip, Tamaya for being here to have this great conversation. And this is the Hilltop Glove Podcast. This is season two, episode two. Peace.